First of all a huge for you, its sounds like its needed.

I too felt this way before falling pregnant with DS. I really dont know how i managed to keep trying and trying to be positive was so so hard. After the first 3 m/c i really felt like giving up, but then my sister got pregnant and holding my nephew for the very first time was a very emotinal time but just made me really want to keep trying for my own little bub. When i got pregnant next i actually felt positive bad sadly it ended again and i got very widthdrwan and depressed, but it made me have a stubborn determination to never give up. Again we had another m/c before finally falling pregnant with DS and up until about 26wks was terrified he would be taken away, i had some bleeds, GD and High B/P and a scare when they couldnt find a H/beat, after that i started to relax a bit until my sister who was 34wks had a heavy bleed and was in hospital for 2wks so i ended up worried again until i was holding DS in my arms.

Now we are trying to concieve again as it took us 3 years to have DS and want our children close in age. It has been nearly 4.5 months and we had a m/c in december, i try not to think about things too much but im scared that it might be a repeat of before and i dont want to lose any more bubba's. Everyday i wish my 6 little angels were here and i sometimes feel as though i cant keep doing it. But really would like to be pregnant again.

I know its really hard to do but just try to relax and be positive. And i wish with all my heart that you get those little kicks soon, followed by a beautiful bubba in you arms. Huge hugs hun, you will get through this.

I dont know if this helps, but i thought i would share and let you know your not alone.