Goodbye little Caterpillar

**csab** · July 17th, 2007, 01:29 PM

Flowerchild - What a wonderful post. Don't think that you sounded pushy because no way are you, and I am so certain that BW will say the same. It is so true that we need to be heard and to let our own judgement guide us. I know if I had not taken my life into my own hands then I would not have had my beautiful girls today. We need to do what is right for us, as after all it is our body they are playing with. You need to be completely happy with your healthcare provider and not feel as tho you are just another number. I applaud you. TC

**Jennifer13** · July 17th, 2007, 01:31 PM

BW, you did everything you could possibly have done with the knowledge you had to take care of yourself and your little caterpillar. If in the future, because of what has happened with your little caterpillar, you decide to seek further opinions or look into more information and find there is more you can do, it does not in any way make you responsible for what has happened.

A responsible parent is one who does their very best with the knowledge they have at the time. You have been a good and responsible parent throughout TTC and your pg. You cannot be blamed for not knowing things that it appears ppl who are experts don't even know.

I saw another BB member say somewhere once (and I apologise for not knowing who it was so that I can give them credit - if anyone else knows, please post it!) thank you to their angel who gave them the answers to be able to carry a child to term. Perhaps your little caterpillar is helping you in this way now. I hope I haven't said the wrong thing, BW... Prayers are with you.

**Inanna** · July 17th, 2007, 01:32 PM

And I applaud you CASB... Congratulations on your two daughters and the strength and courage that I know you have to have brought them into this world... We women are strong and courageous beasts... Sometimes we just need to be reminded...

**butterfly_warrior** · July 17th, 2007, 01:40 PM

Thank you. Just thank you. Deb, Michelle, Willow - you've all picked me up so many times before and you're all here for me again.

I guess because I'm doubting myself, I'm doubting what I'd set out as the back up plan in happier times. I need my friends to affirm what I'm thinking, that I'm not crazy, that I should follow my instincts... As Deb has said, I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain by following this path.

As much as I don't want to switch clinics and doctors, I think I do really NEED the advice of Dr S at this point. If David gets miffed that we sought a second opinion - too bad. As lovely as I have found all the staff at Next Gen, they just don't seem to have the answers to the questions I have right now.

I want to stick with David and Next Gen, but I guess I'm realising that it has to be on my terms, with the advice of Dr S behind me.

BW

Sammi Jane · July 17th, 2007, 01:49 PM

Oh BW, I'm SO sorry for your loss

I can't say anything to help, I just want you to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and trust that what you decide to do will be right for you. :hugs:

**csab** · July 17th, 2007, 01:50 PM

BW - Good on you. You need to follow your own instinct, which is normally the correct one to follow. You are so strong and you can get thru this.

FC - Thanks, sometimes you just need to be strong, if not for yourself for your family. You are so right that we do need to be reminded every now and then. :hugs:

**Baby~amore`** · July 17th, 2007, 01:58 PM

oh BW - my heart is breaking for you too, other people have said it all and I can only echo them I am so sorry your little baby didn't get to stay and grow. I agree with Michelle, deb and Willow and others too - leave no stone unturned.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

**Nadine** · July 17th, 2007, 03:05 PM

BW- I am so sorry you have to go through this. You really do NOT deserve this

All I can say is, please don't blame yourself. You might never find out why you lost your little one, but never think that it was something you did. You carried your caterpillar as long as you could. I don't know what else to say

Excuse my ignorance and if you don't mind me asking... who is Dr S?

My prayers are with you and your DH during this very hard time BW :hugs:

**Willow** · July 17th, 2007, 03:52 PM

Nadine, Dr S is Dr Gavin Sacks with IVF Australia here in Sydney, or as a friend and I call him "God"!! LOL!

You can check him out on their website.

BW, as Deb said, any Dr worth their credentials will have no problem with you getting a specialist opinion.

**mako** · July 17th, 2007, 04:06 PM

BW My heart has just broken when I read your post hun. Please follow your heart and get that 2nd or 3rd or 4th opinion. Please be very kind to yourself and allow yourself time to heal sweety. I am so very sorry for you and your dh hun.Take care and my thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

**Michelle71** · July 17th, 2007, 05:16 PM

Deb, Michelle, Willow - you've all picked me up so many times before and you're all here for me again.BW

I was thinking the same thing, only didn't think it was appropriate to hijack your thread. When you need us, we are but a heartbeat away. Our thread from before showed our love and support and you know we will be there for you, regardless of which path our journeys take. Just like you have been there for us

**PlonkeeMumma** · July 17th, 2007, 06:13 PM

Oh No BW, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. nothing i can say can make it any better. Just wanted to let you know how sorry i am and that i am thinking of you.

Julie x

paradise lost · July 17th, 2007, 07:23 PM

BW i really don't believe that anything you did hastened Caterpillar's exit - s/he just had to go. BUT i do think it is VERY important to listen to your gut at times like this.

There is nothing to be lost by seeking another opinion. If you don't, you will wonder forever and you will be terrified after your next FET. All the fear isn't worth it. Another loss isn't worth it.

Seek the second opinion you NEED to continue down this road. Follow your heart, we will all be here to carry the rest of you when you need it.

Love

Bx

**Iona Macca** · July 17th, 2007, 07:51 PM

BW, I'm not sure what to say but to say how sorry I am to hear of the loss of your little caterpillar. Heaps of hugs coming your way and am thinking of you

**Megan** · July 17th, 2007, 08:45 PM

BW

I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't had any BB time for the last two days and have been thinking about you since Sunday. I truly did not think that this would be the outcome. Please take care of you. Thinking of you.