BW, I don't know what to say. I must confess to feeling shock, disbelief and a sense of emptiness and uselessness. You are a wonderful woman, nothing you did was the cause of caterpillar's departure from this earth and as everyone else has said, you need to do what is good for you at this moment. Whether that means consulting Dr S or not. Give yourself time to grieve, and we will grieve right along with you.

God must have something very special in store for you life ahead. The fact that you have gone thorugh so many trials shows how strong you are. I know you don't feel strong at the moment, and you shouldn't really try and be I suppose, but I am constantly amazed at how you can pick yourself up and keep going. We all love you a lot and your loss causes us pain. I wish I could say something that helped