Oh, Loop, I'm so sorry to read of your losses! My heart breaks for you! I'm glad you found BB, and hope you find strength and support from the great women here! I know how lonely it can feel, and the questions that won't stop running through your mind...grief is a long process, you have to allow yourself the time you need to vent, scream, cry...whatever it takes, you just have to get it out. It will get better, it just takes time, and some days will be better than others. For me, BB has been my saving grace, I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me in my healing process. Don't forget that we're all here for you! Big for you! You're in my thoughts and