HI honey, give yourself time to grieve, and as much time as you need. After my losses the only way I felt as tho I could function and move forward was to TTC as soon as it was possible. Once I was pg again, it felt like I was whole. I am not saying that it was easy once pg, as you are anxious, stressed and worried about every little thing, as it is something you cant control once you have experienced a loss. I never relaxed in my pgcy until I had passed the stage I was of my furtherest loss. Even tho you still worry, once you pass that stage it seems easier to cope and you begin to feel your dream of a forever bub being more real and reachable. Dont feel as tho you are replacing your bub, as it isnt the way it is, it is the want to have another child in your lives that keeps you going.
You will always remember you angel, as your baby was apart of you and always will be. Your dreams you had for your angel was also real.
Your dreams for your next bub will also be real, but will be for that bub. You definately wont be replacing your angel.
I too had 2 boys before my loss, and couldnt understand why I couldnt hold onto my angels when my pgcy's with my boys had no problems. I even blamed myself, felt as tho maybe I did something wrong.
Then after falling pg again I ended up speaking to an OB who advised that I needed to be on aspirin. So my story is different to yours, but I now have 3 beautiful DD's. A total of 4 m/cs, but have been able to bring home 3DD's.
I am not going to say that I feel complete, as I dont, I have lost my angels which is why I dont feel complete. I wont ever feel complete, part of me is with each of my angels, but being able to have my DD"s added to my family has definately helped heal the pain of my losses, IYKWIM.
I hope in some small way that me writing this to you has helped, but I am also so very glad you are getting councilling. It helps being able to talk to someone that wont judge you for how you feel but just listen, I didnt feel as tho I could talk to anyone like friends or family without getting comments that I didnt want to hear. So having there support was great for me. I hope it is helping you. hugs