Sweety, I too felt the same about not coping if I had another loss, but somehow I did cope. It did seem helpless, and I would cry day in and day out and I did not want to go on. I even sat there telling my DH that I didnt want to be here anymore. The pain was just too great, I felt like I couldnt breathe and if I did it hurt to breathe. The only time I felt capable of coping was when I was UTD, funny to think that, but it truly was. I just dont know how I would have coped if I didnt keep trying.
My DH handled things differently too. I believe it was because he needed to be strong for me and our 2 DS"s. I used to think that he didnt care, and that I was the only one going thru this pain, but they do feel differently. They arent the ones carrying the bubs, they dont get as much time to bond like we do. It isnt until they see and hold and touch their bub do they truly bond. We also are the ones that go thru from start to finish with a loss, so we feel it physically and mentally.
I know that the end of this pain seems far, but you are definately strong, it is amazing where us women find the strength but we do. lots of hugs
I am truly sorry that you are going thru this most difficult time. I only wish I knew BB existed when I lost my first, the people on here are just wonderful and offer so much support, I hope you continue to come on here, as you really arent alone.