Em, first up, huge huge hugs to you hun. You are so right to think that noone should have to go through this, they shouldn;t and it is a horrible horrible time. I so much wish that I could say to you that after this much time you will start to feel better again but honestly, there is no right answer to this question. All you can do is go through the range of emotions, absolute heartbreak to anger and jealousy and then one day, it just starts to get less painful than the day before. Cry as much as you need to, it really really helped me to talk to people that have walked this road before. I felt so so lonely because I had so many people saying that they understood yet they themselves had never had a miscarriage. Talking to people who really understand from experience helped ease that loneliness. If I am being honest with myself, while initially it took a good three to four months before I felt normal again, it has taken a good 20 months for me to fully accept and be at peace with the loss of my babies so just remember, it can take a while. Wishing you well sweetie, you are not alone in this.