So sorry to hear of your loss

I can feel the devastation through reading your post

It must be so hard right now.

All i can say is take it one day at a time, even one hour or one minute at a time. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, dont shut that off, it makes things so much harder in the long run, trust me. If you feel like you will start to cry and not be able to stop, thats ok, go with that, you probably need it so much.

Sending you lots of strength