I am so so sorry to hear of your loss hun . Losing a baby is the most devestating pain a person can go through. All I can offer you is just big hugs and lots of strength to get you through this very devastating time. I have lost my own son at 20 weeks, he didn't even open his eyes yet. All I ever wanted was for him to look into my eyes and see how much I loved him. He is always with me and sometimes I can feel him around me, which makes me happy as I know he is always around.
You need to grieve hun, I know it can be so hard as you have a 20 month old to look after. Please, please know that it is a very important step, and one that must be taken.
I'm also from Melbourne, and I have been attending SANDS meetings which run once a month. I have found them very beneficial, and I also see a psychologist about twice a month now. If you ever need to talk, please PM me anytime.
Big hugs hun, and you are in my thought and prayers, and so is your little angel Malakhi.
RIP precious little boy.
Beata xxx