Big big hugs to you It is so easy to feel alone - I felt like that until I met some beautiful women on here that had travelled the same devastating path as me and they have helped me through.

Life is so unpredictable once you lose a child, you have no idea of how you feel from one day to the next. Just take the day as it comes and don't put too much pressure on yourself to feel something in particular - just let your feelings be.

We only had immediate family at Cooper's funeral which was a week after he passed. I do have a garden for him at the crematorium but at the moment he is at home with us. I sometimes wished that I had asked friends to come to the funeral but I can't change it now. I do often think about the day of when Coopie will go to his garden and I too would like to do some sort of service. I think I will ask some friends to attend that. It is so hard to make decisions when you are grieving, there is no right or wrong and I think we will always questions our decisions because it is something that no parent should have to make but heartbreakingly we do.

Big hugs