I feel as if she says these things on purpose.....I dont know if im being stupid or not but i feel as if shes happy this happened, when i was pregnant she would always say how she recented me for it because Im only 19 and having a baby and she didnt have kids, maybe im being stupid but that just what it seems like.

We called him Jai, I just miss him so much and i hate how life has just gone back to normal, i should be home changing nappies and playing with him , but instead im back at work.

And the part i feel the worst about is that im already having the feeling that i need another baby, i just want what i was robbed off, and its not to replace him at all but im to scared to tell anyone because thats what people might think if i tell them and i feel so bad for that, and i dont what him to be looking down at me thinking i dont care about him because i do.