Hi Bonnie,
I am so sorry for your loss darling, my heart is just breaking for you . Losing a baby is the most terrible experience a parent can go through, life is just so unfair sometimes. I wish things were very different for you, you should be holding Jai and taking care of him, not saying your goodbyes. I am so glad that you got to see him and take those beautiful photos of him, I know thay must be your most tresured possesion. I have a little book from the hospital with my little boy's foot and hand prints and the lovely midwife took about 8 beautiful photos of him. I look at them often and am in total awe how perfect he was. Joshua only weighed 350 grams, but he was so perfectly perfect! Sometimes I sit down and just look at his little book and photos, and I feel such sadness but at the same time pride and joy that I had him here at all. He is my beautiful little angel boy. I put together a little album starting with his very first embryo photo (I did IVF) and then I have all his u/s images and then his hospital photos. I am just so proud of him.
Don't feel guilty about having another baby soon. Soon after I lost Joshua I wanted so badly to be pg again. I knew I didn't want to replace him, but I just so longed to be pg again. It is the most beautiful feeling in the world.
Please don't worry about people's insensitive comments, they just don't understand and never will unless they have experienced a loss themselves, and I wouldn't wish that upon anybody. Draw strength from your loved ones, their support is so important now hun. I see a psychologist twice a month which has been so beneficial to me, and I also go to the SANDS meetings once a month, which is a support group for parents who are dealing with child loss.
I pray that your heart is filled with love and hope once again hun, and that you're holding a beautiful healthy baby in your arms soon to love and treasure.
Take care sweetheart,
Beata xxx