I am so sorry for your loss bonnie, please stick around in these threads, as the woman her are fantastic, and so so supportive.
When i lost my first son to sids, i lived in a small town, and everyone knew me and what happened, but it was like people just did not know what to say, so they didnt say a thing, whenever i would venture out in town, i could tell people where staring and "theres that girl whos baby died" all i wanted was someone come and say im so sorry for your loss, but no one did, i think people just feel so bad, they just dont know what to say.
please take care of yourself, and take time out to greive, as you desperatly need this