new and sad
I have been reading your threads for a few months now which have helped me get through some very sad days and decided it was time to join and hear from others that may have had a similar experience and gain some inspiration for the future.
In July, I lost my beautiful son at 21 weeks due to an incompetent cervix... here is my story.
From about week 15, I was having very bad lower abdominal pains and a feeling of extreme pressure in my pelvic area. Each visit, I kept telling my OB about it which he kept dismissing as "normal" pregnancy pains... and of course I believed and trusted in him. He was the expert afterall.
The pain persisted and at my 19 week scan I asked the radiographer if she could see anything that would indicate why I was having these pains and if infact this pain was "normal". The first thing she said was that it sounded like a problem with my cervix and it was. I was funnelling and slightly dilated.
She sent me straight to my OB who ordered a week of bed rest with a follow-up at the end of the week. When I went back it had gotten worse so he ordered me to go home, pack a bag and come straight back to hospital for an emergency cerlage in the morning.
During my procedure my membranes ruptured. My OB suggested I induce labour as the risk of infection was very high but after having spoken to some of the midwives, I was told there was a very slight chance the baby could produce more fluid and I could continue on with the pregnancy. I think they said 2% chance but I was willing to take it! So we waited and prayed to no avail. I went into labour 5 days later and our son was born at 21 weeks. He lived for 25 minutes and was perfect.
After the labour, I had an acute infection and had to have 2 curettes in 2 weeks due to retained placenta products. For the past 2 months I have been seeing another OB/Gyno as I have no faith in my previous. I am so sad and disappointed that I gave him the warning signs and he didn?t even think to check my cervix when I had one of the classic symptoms of IC.
I am so sad all the time. I feel defeated and that life has gotten the better of me as I lost my mum just over a year ago as well. I can?t remember the last time I smiled and life just seems so hopeless.
It has been 2.5 months since my loss and I finally got the all clear from my new OB/Gyno that I can start trying again. I have had 2 periods and my lining at last check was 9mm. Is this good? Has anyone experienced a similar situation and if so, how long did it take you to get pregnant again?
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i went through exactly what you did, i was pregnant with twins and at 21 weeks i lost them, i had the abdomenal pains like you said and i was dismissed saying it was probably just the babies moving or the uterus stretching, the next morning (which was fathers day) about 2am i had to go to the bathroom and was undecided if i really wanted to get out of bed to go, hehehe, i finally decided i really had to go, when i went i noticed a little blood, i went running into bedroom screaming for hubby to wake up and told him about the blood, so he tried calling the dr and while he was trying to get ahold of the dr for some reason i went back in bathroom and there was even more blood then first time, so hubby hung up phone and called 911, i was rushed up to the maternal ward and hooked up to fetal monitors, and the nurse had trouble finding both heartbeats cause babies were moving all around, finally she got them and said they sound good, so hubby went home to get some sleep and i stayed at hospital, well about 45 minutes later nurse checked me and said things weren't looking good and the dr had to examine me further, so i told the nurse to call my husband and tell him to come back to hospital, he said when he answered phone he knew it wasn't going to be good, he flew back to hospital and dr examined me and said these babies are coming, that my son had dropped into birth canal, some time later i started having contractions and nurses trying giving medicine through iv but nothing was working, i finally gave birth to my son at 9:41am and my daughter at 9:53am, they both passed away in hubbies arms, they lived for about 5 minutes give or take, so by the time i got to see them and hold them they had already passed away, we had them baptised, and dr told us that i was able to stay in hospital for the 3 days cause i had vaginal births, so we had babies stay with us the whole time in room with us, held them as much as possible, took pics, hospital told us about a professional picture guy that takes pictures for couples that loose there babies, so we had them contact him for us and he came in and took a bunch of different pictures and he put them on cd and has music playing in background, we had them cremated and now they are both in our bedrooms in there erns, we're doing a march of dimes walk september 27th in there memory, and october 4th we're releasing balloons as a memorial to them, everyone will be getting 2 balloons each, blue for matthew my son and purple for ashley my daughter, like you i switched obgyns for same reason as you, i meet with her next month, we'll also be seeing a maternal fetal medicine dr next week, we got pregnant by ivf, only had to do it once, they put 2 embryos in hoping 1 of the 2 would stay and both ended up staying, i had an appointment with my obgyn the monday before fathers day and she had told us after we lost them that it's common if a cervix is going to go that it goes at that time, well if that was the case why isn't she checked my cervix at the appointment that monday, especially since i was carrying twins and carrying low and have had complications in past with pregnancies. well i hope to hear back from you, it's nice to see that there's someone else who went what we did.
but I bled very heavily afterwards and am still spotting since. I made an appt to see my OB tomorrow to make sure nothing is wrong. I'm so concerned there may be some underlying damage from the infection I had or the 2 curettes I had to have. 
I will make sure that my next baby they will know all about their older sister. We will celebrate her birthday every year with a little cake and party hats etc... She's in our hearts forever.
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