I'm so sorry for your losses BG. As the others have said, you have a huge heart and are such a help to many of us here on BB that it's just rotten that this is happening to you of all people.

I may be totally off the planet here but is there any way Dr S would do a phone/video consultation with you so that you don't have to travel to Sydney? I don't know if you have access to all your medical records but maybe you could send those to him beforehand. Maybe he doesn't need to see you in person given that (I'm guessing) a physical examination wouldn't reveal much and any tests he would order could (I'm guessing again) be done at another pathology place.

It seems to me that maybe he could tell you what tests he WOULD do and that you could then go armed with that knowledge to your FS and just telling him you've been doing internet research so that he doesn't have to know you've sought a second opinion. Look, I think it sucks that he gets defensive about second opinions but I can understand you not wanting to get him offside particularly as the logistics of seeing Dr S are so awkward.

Like I said, I'm just guessing here but that's the only solution I can come up with right now.

And no, you're not nuts, but after what you've been through it does help to let all your feelings out so keep doing that.