Life is so cruel. I am so, so sorry for the loss of precious Ava. Why such tragic things happen to so many "good" people, I am still struggling to understand but I hope you can take some small comfort in knowing there are many women who know what you are struggling through.
It will be hard but you WILL get through the coming weeks. Some days you will wish you could just sleep through it all and others will be spent crying non stop. Take each one as it comes and don't let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn't be feeling.
I hope the cremation, albeit sad, will be a special occasion to remember Ava