Our baby girl born sleeping

[Inanna]

Oh Stanos I am so so sorry to read of the heartbreak of saying goodbye to your daughter Ava...

This time is so very raw and so very painful. Please lean on this wonderful community of women (and men). There will be a time wwhen you will smile and laugh again.
Something that helped me was to plant something (I planted a rose) in rememberence of your daughter... It helped me...
Sending you love and hugs...

[Hammi]

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter Ava. It's amazing how perfect and beautiful your own child is. Did you get any photos of Ava? The hospital staff took some of our baby for us and we look at his pictures all the time. Sometimes I get scared that I'll forget what he looked like or that maybe he wasn't real, but looking at those photos remind me that I am a mother.

In the first few weeks you'll be shocked that the world keeps turning when your own world seems to have collapsed. You'll wake up everyday thinking your baby's name and all the grief and loss you feel hits you like a tidal wave.

You'll think you can't go on but your baby will help you. She'll guide you through your days, and help you get by even if you can't get over her loss.

I'm glad you got to spend four hours holding Ava. I only held Hamish for a short time and I always regret that. I just knew that I had to give him back and the longer I held on the harder it would've been to let go. Even now I crave to touch him, hold him, kiss him.

Take care, Stanas, we're all here for you.

[jen805]

Oh, Stanas, my heart breaks for you! Words can't possibly express how terribly sorry I am for the loss of your angel baby, Ava Grief is all consuming, so be prepared for many ups and downs, good days and bad days. Please give yourself the space and time you need to heal and make it through these dark days, and if you can't surround yourself with loving, supportive people, then please come here to BB for support. It's impossible to get through it alone, and most of the women here know exactly what you're going through. I've suffered 4 m/c, though never as late as yours was... It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my entire life! But I can tell you with complete honesty that it was the women here that got me through it--and continue to get me through it every single day. I for you and your family, and for your precious daughter Ava. Know that she will always be with you, in mind, spirit, and soul. Take care, hun--and if you ever need to vent, scream, or cry, we're here to listen with open arms and hearts!

[Brooke*]

Dear Stanas,
Life feels so unfair especially at this time. I am so sorry for your loss it is so painful.

I lost my perfect boy four weeks ago...it was love at first sight for my hubby and I. This was also our first born. Born at 34wks i had a placental abruption and up until his birth had no signs or issues with the pregnancy...we are still in shock but i accept it a little more each day and feel agry this week but i try to 'smile because he happened'.
I gained strength from support from family especially in the first few weeks.
We too cremated Jed...certainly a path that we never thought we would be travelling on. The day before his funeral i sat down and typed a story (For a little booklet)...it was a story that i had read to him during the pregnancy. We also included some words and meaningful quotes and verses that we had received. I think this was the hardest day of my life but i wanted the best that i could give him as his mummy. We also wrote in a book words from mummy and daddy and that went with him...it was a beautiful service short and intimate with immediate family.
Ava will be forever a part of you and that is special. There was a quote on the wall of the birthing suite i was in and i found strength from this..."what is a part of us for however long, is us and will forevr be";
Take care in your journey and i am thinking of you in this time...am here for you!

[Emmy-Lou]

Sasha...I am so sorry for your loss xoxoxox

[MeredithD]

Life is so cruel. I am so, so sorry for the loss of precious Ava. Why such tragic things happen to so many "good" people, I am still struggling to understand but I hope you can take some small comfort in knowing there are many women who know what you are struggling through.
It will be hard but you WILL get through the coming weeks. Some days you will wish you could just sleep through it all and others will be spent crying non stop. Take each one as it comes and don't let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn't be feeling.
I hope the cremation, albeit sad, will be a special occasion to remember Ava