Hi mewithaby, what a great vision!
What an ordeal you are going through. A partial molar is not easy to deal with let alone the other losses withi your family.
Hoping that you reach zero this week, I'm hoping to in two weeks. It's just not fair.
With regards to your periods, I am sure it's stress you are enduring. Stress can do so many different things to your body. You really do need to take time to grieve for your loss, and I need to take my own advice here, as I too have just "dealth with it". Ive been told it's not a good thing to do, as it will affect you later, whether it be next month or 5 years down the track. You have been a rock for your husband, now it's time for you.
I'm hoping 2009 brings you loads of hapiness, and you are able to become pregnant and enjoy the whole 9 months, sickness and all!
Plese update on your blood test when you can, thanks for sharing your story with us.
Tke care.
Hi girls!
It is great to find other people in a similar situation you can share experiences with. My most recent mc was a partial molar before I had my son Jake. Similar to Lani I too was EXTREMELY ill and exhausted all the time and everyone kept telling me all was ok.
I was just on 8 weeks and had seen my GP to get a referral to an OBGYN - but unfortunately the one I wanted was unavailable, so I dilly dallied around until finally booked in but couldn't get in till about 12wks but being a first "normal" pg nobody was too concerned.
At about 11wks, nearly 12, I woke up one day feeling great for the first time in ages and thought maybe the dreaded first trimester was coming to an end... but about 10am I started spotting red blood and straight away I knew in my gut THAT was why I stopped feeling sick. Called my GP and went straight to see with with DH in tow. He called our first choice OB who we couldn't get into and he could see us straight away. He did a scan in his rooms and could find no heartbeat - we were devastated and he was wonderful. Sent us off to have a "proper" ultrasound who showed that our baby has stopped growing at around 10weeks, appeared to have a "strange" cell structure and had no heart beat. Straight back to OB who had booked me in for a D&C that afternoon - we had a partial molar pg.
We were devastated and had to have weekly blood tests until our HCG levels returned to 0 - about 3 months. It was then that I discovered BB and a great support network, and then googled my life away and freaked myself out lol. We then had to wait a further 3 months to ttc again. It didn't take us too long and we were pg with Jake - and the weekly blood tests and fortnightly scans (with your heart in your mouth waiting to see the heartbeat) started all over again until about 15 weeks when all appeared to be ok. After we had DS we knew we wanted another child but were really scared bcos that first few months of constant fear really took it out of me. I actually had lots of spotting in the first trimester and my dr just gave me bed rest until we were in the clear.
This pg took a lot longer to conceive than expected (over 12months) and once pg we had to do it all again. I am having my 20wk scan on Saturday and even now I hold my breath at every scan waiting to see that heartbeat.
Does it get easier? Sometime yes sometimes no. I lost my mum to cancer about a year before this all happened and knowing she is holding our angel Monty makes things easier to bear. We found giving the baby a name helped us acknowledge that there really was a baby and we did lose a child but it also meant we could say good bye.
Good luck girls - I know we were really lucky. My Ob is amazing, thorough compassionate and generally a great human being and he gave us great support throughout all of our pregnancies... I still remember DH telling me when I was moved to recovery and Paul came out to tell him I was ok he gave him a hug and told him it was ok to and to make sure we grieved. We only met him 12 hours before.
I count my blessings everyday to have Jake and this baby on the way knowing that things could have been so much worse.
Good luck and take care xxx
hey izzy - glad to hear all went well with the d&c. so glad they used a camera. that must be such a relief. you'll be done to zero in no time. everyone deals with things in their own way. dont let anyone tell you how to get over it. If just dealing with it is your way then thats ok too! I couldnt move on until after my due date came and went, but once i got past that date it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders. i think everyone expected me to be over it well and truly before then but i didnt care. i think it made alot of people uncomfortable and worried. but my dh always listened when i wanted to talk and was always ready with a hug when i wanted to cry.
mewithbaby- thanks for sharing your story. im sorry you had such a crummy year. i hope next year is much more positive for you and you get your dream baby. I wouldnt worry too much about your hcg getting to zero. Most places consider less than 5 zero due to a normal amount of hcg in a non pregnant woman and varying lab results. Once i got to 5 i didnt have any more tests. I dont think you need to be worried about your period being a day or two late. My first cycle after d&c was 28 days then every cycle after varied between 28-47 days. i was never that irregular before, it took awhile for my body to completely readjust and i did eventually get back into a 30ish day cycle.
Nelly - thankyou for sharing your story! you give me hope. i really feel this time is different from my molar, but im still terrified of ultrasounds. on one hand im looking forward to my 12 weeks scan and on the other i just want to burry my head in the sand and just not go! i just wish it hadnt happened on my first pregnancy... i now dont trust that my body can actually grow a healthy baby. but its really good to hear that other people have been in the same situation and gone on to have healthy kiddos.
Lani, God Bless you,
Your post uplifted me so much...
I am getting my blood test tomorrow morning at 8. Will let you know how it goes.
Your post really gave me peace of mind regarding the periods.
As for HCG it was 1 a fortnight ago, so that is reassuring!!
All I must do now is relax and calm down from the storm of 2008.
Thanks girls for your support and also sharing your stories.... this is the first time in 3 months that I feel like I can connect with someone in relation to PMP.
Lani I know what you mean - I have been blessed with 2 (so far) healthy pg but you still worry. I had an ectopic years ago but it was nowhere near as traumatic as the pmp, I honestly don't count that pg as my first as I was too young to understand the ramifications or what had happened, whereas the mole was a much-wanted and planned "first" baby IYKWIM. x
Well after a dreaded 1 day wait (usually I get the results by midday, I have been told that my HCG levels have not moved and even after 2 weeks they are still down to 1!
I broke down crying... not so much because of the HCG but because this horrid year is not letting me rest. I am scheduled to have another bloot test on 31/12....and I am thinking that 2008 is making my life hell even until the very last day of the year.
It could be worse. It could have rised but thank God it hasnt.
What myself and the gyno have figured out is that
a) I am severely stressed from the events of this year and this has delayed my period
b) without period here to cleanse blood and leftover HCG, I am still at 1.
c) Because of stress my metabolism and immune system have become sluggish and maybe I am not dumping toxins and excess hormones out of my body as I should
on 27/12 we are expecting friends form overseas.... when I have my blood test done I am a mess all day intil they give me the result. How on earth do I go on in a merry way when they are here? It will be New Years Eve as well, what a difficult day it will be.
Despite all this I am determined to get this demon down to zero.
My plan is to aid my body with detoxification as my GP said that leftover hormones clear through the liver which then get out throug urine.
SO here is my plan:
1.
I am going to have daily tea called DETOX from Clipper - tastes horrible but has ayurvedic elements in it and herbs such as turmeric, rosemary oregano etc.
2.
Will drink 2.5 litres of water EVERY DAY NO EXCEPTION so I get more frequent urination
3.
I will continue to take my multivitamin, EPO, flaxseed and will introduce some coQ10 tablets as they are a powerful antioxidant.
4.
Will commence doing Yoga every day like I did once upon a time (I do it at home and it is amazing to see what effect it has-I was so stupid for stopping it and letting my life get the better of me
5.
I have booked for my mum and I to have a full day spa treatement (cost $860-ouch) but well worth it. This includes body detox, a wrap, lymphatic drainage etc... the works.
We are booked in for Tuesday-7 hours of pampering.
I figured after what I have been through this year 800 dollars is a small cost to pay.
6. Will go to bed by 10:30pm every night.
The body dumps toxins and excess hormones through the liver between 11pm& 12am and if you are awake then this doesnt happen.
To cut a long story short, I am checking my self into my own personal Rehab.
I am determined to get this sticky HCG down to zero as I am quite over it really.
We have one last funeral this Sunday for my husbands grandma, but I am planning to pu my self in lala land and not get too emotioally upset... she was 100! This is my coping mechanism.
In the next 2 weeks aiming to get a period & HCG down to zero.
Any thoughts?
Thanks for all your support... do let me know if there is anything else I can do to get it to zero, I would greatly appreciate that!
mewithbaby, you are an inspiration! I'm trying some of those also. The day spa sounds fantastic, I hope you and your mum enjoy the day!
One thing my chiro has given me (I bled for 6 weeks following 1st curette, this is the first week of no bleeding after 2nd curette) is a product called MenstroCare, by Metagenics. Its to rebalance the menstrual cycle. Its totaly natural. Maybe worth a look into? Other than that, you surely have all the bases covered with such a wonderful healthly lifestyle.
All the best with your friends arriving from o/s, hoping you get the reslts by midday as usual, I know the stress of those days! Hoping for a zero result for you. Mine is on the 29th, currently sitting at 50, so hoping for a zero or close to also!
I think you and your gyno have it worked out, stress does all sorts
All the best for the funeral, being 100 maybe se it as a celebration of her wonderful life.
me with baby - i am so surprised your doctor is being so vigilant about gettting to zero. i joined a support group when i was first diagnosed and of that whole group (probably around 15 people) i only heard of one girls doctor saying she had to get to zero. Everyone else was 5 or less. Some were even 7 or less.
That being said, your doctor knows best and if she wants u to get to zero then i guess she has her reasons. But just remind yourself when your really worrying about it, that most people stop having weekly tests once they get to 5, so you've already done all the hard work! I know how annoying it is when u just cant get those last few steps. Mine took weeks to get from 12 to 5- going down 1 or2 every week. very frustrating, but again, just remind yourself that your thru the worst of it. Theres no way they'd start giving you chemo or anything if your at 1. Its just your doctor being thorough which is great!
I think your plan sounds great! Its always good to have a battle plan when things go wrong. Puts u back in control of the situation. And just think how healthy your body is going to be when you do feel ready to try again!
I went back to yoga this week. id gotten busy with my recent wedding and then wasnt feeling up to it with morning sickness (that was really more afternoon sickness). Have been reminded how much better i feel when i do yoga regularly. I was so out of shape, but now that the morning sickness is beginnning to leave, im really going to get back into it. there is just so many benefits to yoga. i keep trying to convert all my friends and family but am yet to succeed!
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