Jenna - so good to hear from you! I like the addition to your signature. Very poignant, and powerful.
Oh I am so excited about the job interview! Well done! I do hope you get the job. It will be good to have something else to put your energies into, apart from being a fabulous woman, partner and mother......
What sort of jewellery? necklaces? bangles?
Nic83 - ah, "only one loss",but it is one too many. Don't minimise the loss of your angel, your angel is far too precious for that!
Thanks for your kind words, nice to know that somewhere in our combined misery someone seems to find us inspiring.
My view is that all women who have experienced pregnancy loss, at any stage, are inspiring, brave, strong and wise women.
AFM - only one more sleep til my cerclage! Strangely I am not waking up every morning leading up to it with excitement ( like I was for the scan). Oh well. At least then it's only a week til easter and I can indulge, and hopefully not over indulge, in some wonderful delectable chocolate!
Do you have plans for Easter?
People keep asking me if I have plans, but being on modified bed rest, ie bed rest most of the time, means I don't have plans. I might go out for lunch one day, no more than an hour. That would be pretty exciting. Depends on what the Dr says.
The longer I "rest" the less able I am to do anything but "rest". It seems so long ago that I was playing sport and pushing myself to my limit every day with exercise. One of the things I really hope for is that I don't lose my passion for exercise and I can get my fitness back. Got to have something to hope for huh? Can't put all my hopes in one basket.
Anyway, now I am dreaming about chocolate. What a nice thing to have a day dream about......
Nic83 - Thank you for your vote of confidence darl. But you are an amazing woman as well, you have survived the loss of 'One' too many as well, which makes you just as strong as us. It isn't any easier whether you have lost only one, or 10 precious angels.
Dory - Thanks darl. I make necklaces, earrings, bracelets, charms for those Pandora Style bracelets. I even make mobile phone dangles too. I sell all of those, plus the Pandora Style beads, spacers and bracelets at my local Markets and online. Gets me a bit of extra cash to buy more beads without going into the money I get from centrelink lol
afm - not much happening today. Still waiting on the results of the BT I had on monday to see if my HCG levels have gone back down to zero. I'm so impatient.
Even though DH and I are taking a break from TTC we're not using any protection, so there's still a chance I could get preg again. Before this month I didn't want to risk having another december baby (DS was born december 23rd) but right now I'll take any due birth month I can as long as I can get a sticky, healthy & happy baby.
I have to get going. DH has a bad back today, so I have to cook dinner for him. I hate having to cook, mostly because he is the better cook being a former Chef and all, but I just can't be bothered most of the time lol. I'd much rather be on here than cook dinner.
Have a good night all!
So little time, sooo much posting happening! Amazing!
Dory, I made sure I popped in today to let you know I'm thinking of you & hope your procedure has gone well. Rest up (there is something you MUST be sick of hearing!!! Lol)
What's the plan of attack at present now with the cerclage done? Forgive me, I have very little knowledge of it.. I understand it's benifit overall, but ah, thats about it.
My thoughts are with you DH & the little one/s x x x
Jenna, you sound like me!!! "We gave it a break" (without protection lol) & I had also said I didn't favour a December bub - But of course we would be happy with an arrival any month after the happenings of the last 10! Go with the flow honey, whatever works hey... Job Interview news? And love, let it be your 1st or 10th they are still *****ty experiences! Lol.
Nic 83 - Thank you kindly! Your words for each of us were just beautiful. I hope that you can find yourself peace & happiess in this mad world we live in. Remember your angel, never supress the experience or the hurt. I made that mistake & if I could would alert the world not to do the same, I would. Be strong honey.
Easter plans you ask Dory? Zero here. I think the most I will do is nap each day But I will be ordering poor DH around. So much to get done around the house still! Its driving me nuts.
Well, I'm off to bed - I'm tired for a change! Thank goodness I cut back to 30 hour weeks when I did!
Mrs Dex - you sound like me... hmm what's the time? time for a rest! Good to see you are taking up the benefits of rest!
Procedure went well. Always a long wait for day surgery. DH came in for a while in the little holding cubicle and helped me get changed, but then when the anaesthetist came around and said another 90 mins at least, DH left to go eat. I put in my earphones and had a really nice 90 min semi meditation. I woke up quickly from the anaesthetic and not sick. Not that I have ever been before. I saw the Ob before I left and he was really happy with how it went. Very little pain and discomfort either! There is some, but not like I thought it would be. At least so far. And not much bleeding either. It's weird not to be worried about bleeding during pregnancy!
Strangely I was really hungry yesterday ( not eating for over 12 hours when pregnant will do that to a girl) and thirsty, but had a really bad bout of insomia last night. So a bit tired today, and light headed, but not miserable. DH stayed home today just in case and I am really glad of the company and his "nursing" ability, not that I have really needed it, but he comes and checks on me.
I did have a weird thing happen about midday - my skin became really flushed around my breasts and shoulders, and face, but no temperature! Still a little flushed now some 4 hours later. I think I remember that sometimes in pregnancy women get flushed. Without any other symptoms though, I am not too worried.
The plan - for the next two weeks is to continue resting, and doing very little. I want to give my body the chance to heal and fight any potential infection. For me really the time between 14 and 22 weeks seems to be the critical point. And I suppose every day thereafter too? After 2 weeks though, I will talk to the Ob about my activity level. I daresay he will recommend I continue to pretty much continue with the rest. The good news is he said that chocolate was good for me and I could enjoy myself at easter! Got to be thankful for the small things huh? No plans for me at easter. Just more rest, and eating chocolate. I am so looking forward to eating chocolate. I suppose being cut off from the life I knew makes me prioritise things differently.
Hope your DH takes your orders well and doesn't resent them.
I just watched Slumdog Millionaire. Have you seen it? Interesting and challenging. Makes me appreciate what I have.
Here's another irony. One of my friends has just had a hysterectomy just when I am trying so hard to keep my uterus in use. She was so relieved. It's being done based on medical reasons. Hopefully it brings her some relief.
Take care. Thinking of you Jenna and Nic83 and my2boys. Feeling light headed again, so time to rest again. I could get a degree in this resting business.
So pleased to hear you are getting on so well. Have your feeling of a light head passed?... Still a bit of bed rest to go hey. So what week are you in now???
All is well here - 10 weeks yesterday. We are even daring to contemplate how we will tell everyone or news in 2 weeks! Another scan on Thursday & I will insist on more detail than we were offered last time thats for sure.
Just calling in super quickly, I'm on my way to bed for a change. Have a weeks holidays now, what a huge relief! So will call in again in the next few days
Mrs Dex - enjoy your snooze. OMG 10 weeks. You must just be pinching yourself. That is so amazing. Well done.
I am 14 weeks and 6 days today. A bit sad today, as wee little Nicholas made his entry into the world at this stage of my last pregnancy. I am not worried about it happening to me today though, just sad and nostalgic and doesn't help that DH was sent away for work. Oh well.
Still light headed from time to time, but much less, now I have my appetite back! Just had a snack of rice and tuna. Yum.
Enjoy your hols. I am so happy that you get to contemplate how to tell people and revel in their excitment. Enjoy it, it's very groovy.
Well 11w 4d today! I have a day off work & finally have my energy back so I am scrambling around trying to catch up on bookwork, housework, washing & even BB!
Great to hear you have a good hunger for food/s. Potatos are on the top of my love list!
My bestie is pregnant again (one that suffered from BO), visited over the weekend & was a walking sign of illness the poor girl. She is having a rough trot again too, bleeds, no answers & just waiting for time to pass.
We made our news public after our last scan (the 3rd in 4 weeks!) & everyone is delighted, we are sooo lucky! My sister has put her hand up for baby shower duties, something that never have I contemplated happening before!
I do hope your getting along well, alway thinking of you DH & the angels...
i have 12w scan monday & hospital / RMC doctors appointment thursday next week, so I will be sure to call in again & let you know how all is going.
Hope DH is home from work travels to keep you company x
Mrs Dex - THAT IS SO EXCITING!!!! OMG -your nuchal scan next week. You must just be beside yourself. I think that they are truly the best. You get to see bubs in profile/silouhette plus spine, arms, legs, hands, feet, heart, brain - it is just so cool. Also your due date might be adjusted then based on the measurements made during the scan. And the other best part - you get to take some piccies home! oh I am so excited for you.
I am so glad that people were excited for you and the "squabbling" has begun for the baby shower duties.
How far along is your BF now? Time can pass so slowly. Has she got a virus or is it a mixture of pregnancy sickness and anxiety?
Glad you have some time off... You should have more I say.... if only for a very selfish reason that I would get to talk to you more.
How is work?
How is your DH going with the pregnancy as it advances? is he going to the nuchal scan with you? I think for men, the nuchal scan makes everything much more real.
I wouldn't expect you to be showing yet? Are you? I am a lot more, but I still think the "lazy bump" is more prominent than the baby bump. I can't believe I have turned into a sedentary person. One of the sad things for me, is whilst I am quite excited and hopeful about this pg, most of the people around me, except for DH are not. They say things like, "do you think its ok to buy something for the baby?" or "it's too early to start making things" or I sent you a card congratulating you on the pg and I won't be doing that again". I tell them to go ahead,they should make this baby feel welcome, but each time they say it a little part of my heart is crushed. I understand where they are coming from, and I suppose they don't need the excitment or hope to get them through every day. Like grief, its sometimes harder to deal with others than it is to deal with yourself. Have to say though my ob has been a champion. Quietly reassuring and confident and always reassuring without being extravagant or falsely positive.
Anyway, don't tire yourself out too much with the housework frenzy.
Thinking of you - lots. Big belly rubs to your little one.
Hi Dory, Hi Mrs Dex
I hope you don't mind me popping in! I was having a sticky beak read through this thread last night and wanted to type in a 'Hello' but I was quite tired by the time I got to the end of it all and Hubby was almost finished watching his movie so I called it a night.
I think you two are wonderful people, you have both been through so much and I am so happy that you have found each other to talk to about your experiences. I think you both have tremendous strength and I wish you both the best of luck for your pregnancy.
I have to say, I can't wait to join you on the pregnancy journey. As you may remember Dory, we lost our son not so long ago. It is a tough journey, but I am looking forward to starting again.
I don't want to go into the details here to much of what happened, because I only want to send you guys positive sticky vibes.
I would love to fall pregnant right away, and being that I'm not using any contraception atm that could happen, but I'm not sure how others will take it. My doc might tell me off lol. He told us to wait maybe 6 months, I nearly cried when he said that. The doc then said to wait 6 weeks until the bleeding had stopped and we find out the results from all the tests that were done, and maybe we could reduce the waiting time. But in the mean time he won't give me a prescription for the pill. I'm back into a normal cycle already. I only bled for just under 2 weeks after I delivered and my last period was only 3 days late and seemed fairly normal. I did have some really really bad pains one morning in particular but they didn't last long after taking some pain killers and there was no bleeding at that time. I still don't have the results from the tests that were done from the delivery. I have another 7 days to wait for the results. But they did ask for an ultrasound after those pains and everything seems fine and I am feeling fairly normal.
Ok I think I have dribbled enough words onto the page for now lol, once again, I hope you don't mind me popping in. Take care.
Danni.
Gemini - heya - good to hear from you. It's never easy huh? So much pain, so many questions, some unanswered.
Good to hear your cycles are back on track. I was lucky after Amelia. We were going to have a post mortem but in the end decided against it. Dr was really supportive of that decision and of us trying again soon. If I had had to wait for results, then it would have been so hard, because the desire at that time, was to start trying again immediately, but balance against that would have been the need to have more information in case complications could be prevented in the future. My cycles came back quite quickly.
We waited to try again after Sophie ( I have just worked it out it was only about 3 months we waited, it felt like so much longer than that!). I really needed time to heal physically and emotionally and both DH and I were unsure of what we wanted to do, except mourn our babies.
There are no hard and fast "rules" on waiting, its a combination of factors - your cycle, your body being healed if there was trauma, getting the results of any testing and investigations, but most importantly, being emotionally strong enough to experience another pregnancy. It's a lot tougher than I thought it would be. A lot of the people tcc go crazy in the 2 week wait ( and I was one of those too) but then the pregnancy becomes a reality and it is so exciting, because it is what you want, but it is so so so unbelievably scary at the same time. The fear can be debilitating at times and 40 weeks is a lot longer than 2 weeks. Honestly I am pretty lucky, my really desolate and tough days are few and far between, but it is a very long journey and it is very demanding. It's worth it, but its the toughest thing I have done. I can only imagine how tough it must be if those desolate days where the fear takes over happened more often...
Having a late loss also makes the next pg harder ( not because you grieve any less as a loss is a loss) but more in that it takes a lot longer in time to get to your "vodoo" dates. Most women feel some sense of relief when they pass that vodoo date. Some not as much. Its longer to wait to get to 20 weeks than say 8, is all I am saying.
So sweetie - lots to think about in trying again. You'll know when you are ready.
And I don't think you dribbled on to the page - what you had to say was important. It's good for you to drop in Dexy is so busy these days she hardly ever pops in, so its just me talking to myself in here Just like the crazy old cat lady I am. ( just kidding Dexy )
Yeh the docs spoke to us about tests on baby but we were not that convinced we wanted to and it was decided in the end that the placenta would provide just as many answers if any. Jayden was too little, they didn't give me a measurement but he was about 10cm, he weighed just 45 grams. I have in my sig that he was 20 weeks, as thats how far along I should have been when I found out, but reality is that he was 14 weeks 2 days.
I still don't know how that happened. Next time I will be making sure that I am kept informed regularly. I had my 13 week scan at 13w3days and didn't see anyone until I went for the 20 week scan at 19w6days.
No, next time I will be requesting to see someone a lot more often than that, even if it's just to hear the heartbeat. I could never work out why the hospital did that, made a second appointment 8 weeks after my first one, when they were the ones who ordered the 13 week scan to check for risks. I wondered for a few weeks after the delivery if there was anything from that scan that may have been seen and therefore prevented if the information had got back to me. But I look at it in a way now that I cannot change what has happened.
So it's time to look forward, and hope that the doc gives us the all clear. Thursday next week is the day I will know more.
In the meantime, my son is having his first game of soccer tomorrow. He is really looking forward to it, he looks so cute in his uniform. He is just extatic. I'll have to sneak some photos before he goes out and gets all muddy and wet. Typically, it's meant to be raining tomorrow. I guess it just wouldn't be a traditional soccer game without the rain lol. I spose thats half the fun, getting rained on and sliding in the mud.
Gemini, lovely of you to drop in! & thanks so much for the kind words... I'm so sorry to hear of the heartache that brings you here & do do hope that you find all the support & love you need
We all seem to have suffered different issues, of course all similar in their ways too. But our desires are exactly the same, making us understanding & sympathetic to everyone & anyones needs.
I personally found communicating on BB the most helpful source available, to cope, to refocus & to put my mind at ease, when surely without BB, its beautiful members & especially Dory, I would have lost it.
On that note, Dory... How are you? I found myself sitting on the couch shortly after arriving home tonight & thought.... Oh, I must drop in... I hardly get time lately! Lol!
The work day was a long one today - By lunch time I just really wanted a belly full of food & a bed for a nap. Somehow I managed to keep on keeping on & arrived home shortly after 8pm.
I COULD NOT get into 1 pair of my work pants today - I literally went to work in track suit pants! So out with the size 10 Cue slacks & in with the good old Nike trackies! Lol!
My pants were sooo uncomfortable & tight I just could not bear it & not to mention the unsightly flab that gets pushed out over the top of them because the waist is sooooo tight. Eeeeewww! But none the less, I wasnt horrifed. Just shocked that 2 days ago I fitted my pants just OK, but today was impossible! Bizzare!
I'm terribly sorry about the 'comments' you have had to deal with - Hearing those things must certainly have an effect for both you & DH. When you need all the hope & excitement you can possibly summons & someone drops 'do you think its ok to buy something?' - I imagine it does a great job of crashing whatever good thoughts & vibes you DID have on that day If only we could just deal with people that have had similar experiences or at least knowledge. Again, I guess that is what is so wonderful about BB... But its lovely to hear that your ob is so supportive & understanding - The world needs more of him! Especially down this way!
Well girls, I'm off to have something to eat, watch a movie with DH & prepare for DS's return tomorrow morning. After a few days at his Nan & Pops... I'm sure he will return totally charged & hypo for an eventful weekend. Personally - I can't wait! x
Mrs Dex - ahh you're getting a baby cushion ( it's what I call the amassing of that extra padding around the middle but is not yet a defined baby bump).
I agree with Gemini - retail therapy is in order. I like the idea of going to work in trackies!
How was DS? Nice for you to get a break, nice for Nan and Pop to get to see him and good for him too, and nice to have him home again, even if it does take a few days to settle back into his home routine.
Gemini - it can be confusing. I have to say though, that sheduling of scans is at about the normal time frame - 12 weeks for nuchal and 20 weeks for morphology and it doesn't really raise any concerns on the face of it.
You are the one though that has to ask for more scans and more appointments. Don't worry about Dr's/hospitals thinking you are "crazy" - honestly it means nothing to them and gives you a great deal of comfort. Even though I say that, when I have to call and ask for a reassurance appointment, even though I know without question no one thinks I am crazy, I still have to overcome that idea in my own mind. It's weird that sometimes the thing I have to overcome sometimes is myself. BUt the reassurance appointments are when there is nothing physical wrong, just when I am anxious. I have no hestitation about calling if there is something physically wrong. I suppose i just need to go a bit easier on myself and genuinely accept that anxiety is just as relevant and important as a physical concern.
How did DS's socer game go? I love watching littlies play, because usually it is just a swarm of kids running and falling around about the ball. But they seem to love it.
Good luck on Thursday....
AFM - well excitement plus - I had my flu shot for the year this morning, after checking with the ob and also about 5 mins ago my first nosebleed that wasn't from a physical trauma. I was talking to my mum on the phone and thought my nose was runny. Of course, no tissues to hand so I used the back of my hand ( I know, so gross) and was surprised to see blood. It was only a light bleed but the nostril that bled now feels really weird and fragile an snuffly. I am not surprised as this morning when I blew my nose there was a little blood in the tissue from the same nostril. It is a first for me though. I have read it is common in pregnancy...
Had an appointment with my ob on Friday and got some good news. Heartbeat 140 and cervix long and closed and my blood pressue is pretty good 120/60 ( given I am basically a sloth now I am very happy with my BP)
We had family stay with us late last week. It was good to see them, and it really broke up the monotony of being at home by myself. The other good news was that the cats, instead of hiding under the bed, were in fact pat tarts. They were snuggling up to our visitors for pats and one cat even slept on my nephews legs all night. He loves cats but is quite allergic. Thank god for zyrtec! But that is what kept me away since Thursday.
And I am still eating chocolate. I don't think it will ever end....
Afternoon Dory, Mrs Dex
Isn't it exciting for Mrs Dex, growing out of her clothes !!
Dory: Good to hear all your stats are good. Pitty bout the blood nose, I too have read somewhere that this is common during pregnancy. Hope it doesn't give you too much grief.
I'm glad you got the opportunity to spend some time with your family and I had to laugh about your cats. Typical, to come out and want attention when there is someone present who is allergic. Pat Tarts LOL.
I totally understand about the chocolate, its still around in our house and finding its way into my mouth. I'm surprised the kids have not polished off the whole lot.
DS soccer game was great, he got called up to be captain. He went in hard for tackles and even pulled of a few trick moves and left everyone wondering lol. All that practise against his older sister has paid off. Your right they are cute while they are unsure exactly of all the rules, positions etc. DS is funny to watch when he runs, arms and legs going everywhere lol. It was cold but the rain held off. They drew 2-2. DS was so proud.
Heya Dexy and Gemini ( and anyone else lurking). Excitment plus for me yesterday - a nose bleed - just out of the blue. It is quite hard to talk on the phone and pinch your nose whilst bending forward. But I managed and I reckon if I can do that I can do anything.
Dexy - I hope you are taking care of yourself and have found some new pants!
Gemini - not long til Thursday..... be strong.
AFM - 17 weeks tomorrow...... inching closer moment by moment. I have to go and fill a prescription at the chemist. Ordinarily I would walk but not now. At most I will be out of the house for 10 mins. But a big excitment for me - a small outing.
If only we could just deal with people that have had similar experiences or at least knowledge. Again, I guess that is what is so wonderful about BB... But its lovely to hear that your ob is so supportive & understanding - The world needs more of him! Especially down this way!
lol
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