results in, where to next?

[MeredithD]

I have posted most of my story in PAML but brief overview.
I had 2 m/cs (following AC ) in 2005 - unexplained. 2nd baby was tested - normal. DH and I tested for everything - nothing found.
2006 - OI/IUI with clexane following ovulation led to conception and successful pf with my gogeous DS.
2008 - finally pg again with OI/clexane again. Discover we are expecting twins only to be shattered a few weeks later when they died within a week of each other.
I have since had D&C and full genetic testing again of the babies.
Still having problems post D&C. My OB kept putting me off but agreed yesterday that whats happening is NOt normal and I probably need looking at.
Happened to have appt with FS today to discuss the future (another story!) so she gave me quick scan and yep does look like there is still some "product" remaining. have to have a 'proper" scan tomorrow but hoping there is not much as even FS is reluctant for me to have yet another D&C. I have had retained "product" (hate that term!) previously and was fairly unwell.
I also got results from genetic analysis. They only got results from one of the babies... a boy with Trisomy 15. So now a whole bucket load more questions. i thought I would feel relieved to finally have an answer for a m/c but just feel lost. We don't know if the other was abnormal or just died for other reasons. My last m/c was defnitely not for genetic reasons so I obviously have other undiagnosed issues too. My concerns regarding my age have also been really brought out again. Trisomies are almost always related to advancing maternal age so now the worry over poor eggies.
My FS is normally very positive about everything but today, she even admitted that yes my age and the fact that I have had 3 m/c's IS a concern. My chances of another loss are much higher... not stuff I really want to hear.
Given I need AC anyway, she did talk about doing full IVF with PGD to at least lower the risk of another trisomy. Kind of decided we would just try again without the PGD next time but now I am beginning to rethink. Just not sure what to do. anyone done PGD?
Going to repeat all the reccurent m/c tests in a few weeks given its been 2yrs since last done but not expecting anything to show up.
Just sooo want to be pg again and past all the worrying about whether I will lose more babies. I am so so tired of all this but I know I will press on. That urge for more children is not going to fade!

[Michelle71]

Meredith - I don't have any answers for you, just an understanding ear if you need it and the hope that your dream of more children is quickly fulfilled

[BekZ]

Meredith - Hugs hon. I really don't have any solid recommendations for you but if you are concerned about the health of your eggs maybe consider using a natural therapist who will complement conventional fertility treatment. I have heard that the Sharkey's Healing Centre is excellent and I have seen a couple of threads here at BB on it.

[ClareBear28]

Thinkin of you hon, I can't begin to imagine how you're feelin, so much going around in your head....
Here's a big hug for you and I'll say a little fairy prayer for you too

[diannescruffy]

Hi Meredith,
Big hugs to you hun, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you during this tough time, we are here for you. Have hope hun, two years ago I had a stillbirth and our baby had Trisomy 13 (not sure the difference with Trisomy 15) but we now have a healthy baby girl. Your dream can still come true.
Regards,
Dianne

[Lee]

Hi Meredith,

What a tough time you are going through right now. I don't have any great advice - other than to say - I don't think you are that old at 36! I'm 39, I had a Trisomy 21 pregnancy last August, had an early miscarriage in November, and fell pregnant in December with this one, which looks perfectly healthy. I think you just have to keep trying, and eventually you will hit the jackpot. I have no experience of pnd, I live in Tassie - I did ask my Ob about it and he said it's not available here, and would require many trips to Melbourne - all seemed a bit hard. So we just decided we have had our "bad luck" and to keep trying. I do think my early (5 weeks) miscarriage may have been another chromosonal problem - but at least that time my body did what it was supposed to do. I'll never know for sure, but it seems a bit of a coincidence.

Hang in there, whatever you decide to do - but most of us know the urge to have children is greater than the fear of not trying

Lee xo

[Kitt3n]

Oh Meredith, i really dont know, i just wanted to say this just sux, and you shouldnt have to go through all this.

[Inanna]

More hugs special woman...

I understand your fears about your age, I really do. Chromosomal abnormalities occur more frequently in women over 35 - this seems to be a reality. That does not mean all women over 35 will have a chromosomally challenged pregnancy. Try really really hard to remember that my love. I had 3 early miscarriages that I believe were likely to be due to a chromosomal abnormality. As you know I was 38 & 39 trying to conceive a baby. Yes, it ws a fear I held. I knew my choice would be to interrupt a pregnancy with a child with a chromosomal abnormality. The pain would have been immense. I had to work really really hard to abate those fears.

I am here if you need anything. All I can do now is send my love to you and your babies. I have thought of you often over these past few days. Know you will get through this and hold tight to your dream. This is a very painful hurdle, but you WILL hold another baby in your arms.

Lots of love and long squishy hugs...

[MeredithD]

Thanks ladies. Knowing someone else is at least listening to my babble is comforting.
Unfortunately, my run of "bad luck" just continues on. I think i am the 'rare complication" queen!
Had confirmation today with a scan that i have retained"products" (something i've known myself within a few days of the D&C). Enough in there that FS really thinks i'll need another D&C. However, she reffered me back to OB who wants to try medical treatment first
I'm not really happy with either option.
D&C - risks of damaging my girly bits,Ashermanns syndrome etc. Medical treatment - going to drag on at least another 5-7 days and no guarantee I still won't need a D&C.
I agreed on medical or rather couldn't be bothered fighting for anything else so getting prepared for a really cruddy w/e and back for scan Monday. Kind of expecting i'll be having yet another D&C on Tuesday.
I am just sooooo tired and over all of this. Really,really sick of being the rare complication patient.
I can't even have a "normal" miscarriage!!!

[Michelle71]

I know the *joy* of being the complication queen. Nothing I do is on the *normal* path either Hoping for a quick resolution for you.

[Janie]

Hope everything is going okay Meredith

[Inanna]

I too think we could share that coronation ie: Complication Queen... I am sorry this is still going on. I am thinking of you and hoping that you have had a weekend of that uterus doing a good job. Please keep us posted.d Thinking of you my love...

[satya]

Meredith, I'm so sorry that things are not improving for you. Please don't think that there's anything abnormal about the way this is progressing. Lots of women unfortunately retain product and have to have treatment for it. It's not as simple as other peoples experience of loss, but certainly not abnormal. I hope the medical treatment works for you so you can avoid the D&C as I would have the same fears about that as you do, but if it is necessary then unfortunately you will have to accept that this is just another part of your experience. Just remember that just because one egg has a chromosonal problem, it does not mean others will in the future.

[loopy_girl21]

So sorry for your loss... *HUGS*