Thank you so much for you kind comments, it really helps to have your validation.

what is going on feels so invisible - and so discounted - it feels like i am in a bad b grade movie in a time warp - everything is going so slowly.

kellieem - i think your idea is good. i think i will ask for another scan before i go in and have a d&c next week. i just cant do it with any doubts that they might be wrong. even though the chance of that is so small - especially as i can feel my body 'giving up' on being pregnant. ie no more sore boobs, no more nausea etc - i am angry with my body for that - it is all i have left to 'feel' pregnant.

my dh committed to this locum the day before we found out about our baby. he tried to get out of it - but couldnt - if he didnt go there would be a whole town without a dr for the weekend - he will be home on sunday - i hope it doesnt happen while he is away. i cant wait for him to come home - i need him to be here so we can make the decision together.

.x