SJL, I feel for you. I agree with sneakysparkle.

Having worked with children with varying degrees of disabilities I have seen the issues both biological and adoptive parents have had to face with their children and while I can see that perhaps your family may have their concerns for you I think they are being extremely unfair and disrespectful (even cruel) in first of all not acknowledging you as a mother, but also in treating your daughter as though she is invisible. I am worried now what will happen once your brother's baby arrives and how both you and your daughter will take to this baby being treated so differently by your family.

While I am not in a position to place judgement on your family or offer advice I would just like to say that your post reflects how much you care for your daughter and that in itself makes you a fabulous mum and I am sure your daughter will grow up to know she has the world's best mum whatever decision you make.