SJL how hurtful for you and your daughter Can you have a quiet word with your family and let them know that while you are very happy a new baby is being born into the family, that their comments about that baby being the "first" grandchild etc are hurting your feelings. Explain that you would hate for your little one to overhear these comments, as that may "lessen" her sense of belonging in your extended family. You said that over the years you thought they had embraced your daughter... and maybe they have and this hopefully is some thoughtless comments made by people who haven't really thought through the consequences of their words, rather than some intentional statements by people who don't see your daughter as part of the family. I hope you can work it out.

A word of caution if I may? Even though your family's comments about your daughter are hurtful, the little bub about to be born is also an innocent in this situation. Try to walk a higher path and embrace that little one into your family, even if you think the favour isn't being returned.

I hope this works out for all of you, and that your daughter continues to feel loved, valued and a significant part of your wider family