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thread: Aspergers/Autism/Sensory Integration Chatter #4

  1. #235
    Registered User
    Follow Early Kids On Twitter

    Oct 2007
    Eastern Wheatbelt WA
    3,282

    Just quickly (none of us hardly seem to have any time in this thread- funny that!), I've started a blog. I'd love to find the other blogs that have been started and follow them too. I know there a few of you...

    Journey to Diagnosis: Some background
    I'm following My blog is Parenting Premmies, I have some info on speech therapy, SPD, etc on there. I aim to add more but time is a factor (haha)

  2. #236
    BellyBelly Member
    Add Yeddi on Facebook

    Aug 2010
    In a library somewhere...
    788

    I've just been sent some info sheets from Aspect Autism Spectrum Australia and I thought I'd share:

    Behaviour


    Non-verbal behaviour may be the only effective method of communicating for children who have difficulties using and comprehending language. Some behaviour may also be related to sensory processing and modulation difficulties often experienced by children with an autism spectrum disorder. When attempting to change any challenging behaviour, it is important to try to understand what purpose the behaviour might be serving the child and what that behaviour is trying to communicate. If the behaviour is successful most of the time, the child is more likely to continue using that behaviour, because it works. The best predictor of future behaviour is behaviour that has been successful in the past.

    When examining a child’s challenging behaviour, one of the questions asked is “Do they have the skills to communicate their need in a more appropriate way?” For many children with ASD, difficulties with non verbal communication are also evident (e.g. lack of eye contact, pointing, gesture) and therefore their ability to clearly communicate their needs is often quite restricted. One way of assisting the child is to teach them more functional and appropriate ways of meeting their particular needs, as will be described below.

    Positive behaviour support
    When attempting to change any behaviour, it is important to examine when the behaviour is more likely to occur, with whom and in what setting. This provides further information about the possible purpose of the behaviour and may allow changes to be made which may reduce the chances of that behaviour occurring in the first place. This approach is known as ‘Positive Behaviour Support’ and is different to more traditional approaches to ‘managing’ behaviour that only react to difficult behaviours, once they have occurred. Interventions that only react to a challenging behaviour are often focused on punishment and usually exacerbate the behaviour for the child as well as the carer. The most successful interventions are proactive and positive.

    Most behaviour is communicating about something
    Children with autism typically have difficulty communicating. While some children with autism become adapt to letting their parents know what they want, it is difficult for most children with autism to communicate which things they don’t want, about how they feel or of what they are afraid. When children are unable to communicate easily or when attempts at communication are misunderstood, often the only option left to them is a behavioural response. As one author writes, “Many of the challenging behaviours exhibited by individuals with autism are better understood as unconventional attempts to communicate in the face of serious communicative limitations” (Schuler & Fletcher, pg 130).

    What is the function of the behaviour?
    Finding out the function or purpose of the behaviour is the key to supporting difficult behaviours. The first step is to identify the behaviour that is causing the most difficulty and distress. We then need to observe the behaviour in a structured way as outlined below.

    The “A-B-C” of behaviour
    “A-B-C” stands for ‘antecedent, behaviour, consequence’ and relates to all the things that happen before, during and after the behaviour. By analysing the “A-B-C” of behaviour, we can start to see why the behaviour is occurring and what is happening to maintain the behaviour over time.

    ‘A’ is for antecedents
    Antecedents are all the things that happen in the people environment and physical environment prior to behaviour occurring. When we analyse what happens prior to behaviour, we are able to get information about likely ‘setting conditions’ and ‘triggers’.

    ‘Setting conditions’ are the things that happen in the time before the behaviour, that make the behaviour more likely to occur but do not necessarily cause or trigger the behaviour. Good examples of setting events in children might be tiredness, illness, pain or someone new in their environment.

    ‘Triggers’ are the events that happen immediately before the behaviour and cause or trigger the behaviour. Trigger events for children with autism might include a change in routine, refusal of something the child wants, frustration due to comprehension difficulties, sudden sensory stimulation or lack of attention.

    ‘B’ is for behaviour
    Children with autism can show a range of challenging behaviours. In order to analyse the particular behaviour, we need to be able to accurately describe the behaviour using the following questions as a guide:
    • What does it look like?
    • How often does it happen?
    • How long does it last?
    • How dangerous/disruptive is it?

    The answers to these questions will allow the behaviour to be accurately described which means that improvements and changes in the behaviour over time can be clearly seen. When there are several difficult behaviours, these questions can also help with making a decision about which behaviour to address first.

    ‘C’ is for consequence
    The ‘consequence’ of the behaviour is anything that affects whether the behaviour increases or decreases. In traditional ways of helping behaviour, the ‘consequence’ of a behaviour is seen as what the adult does to react to behaviour, for example, the ‘consequence’ of hitting your sister is to be sent to your room in the hope that this will discourage you from doing it again. In positive behaviour support, it is important to consider the consequences from the point of view of the person engaging in the behaviour. That is, what does the child get out of doing this behaviour? When we know what the child is getting out of a behaviour, we can then start to put in place strategies to teach new skills and avoid the behaviour occurring.

    There are a range of different consequences that motivate difficult behaviours. The four main categories of consequences are:
    • Attention
    • Wanting something tangible
    • Sensory stimulation
    • Avoidance or escape of an activity or situation

    Consider the following example:

    A young child with autism hits another child during group time at preschool and is removed from the group to sit on a chair on the other side of the
    room. What are the possible consequences for the child with autism?
    - attention from the teacher?
    - removal from overwhelming sensory input?
    - escape from an activity he doesn’t like?
    - getting to sit on a chair, rather than the floor?

    It is possible that even though the teacher thinks she is helping to stop the behaviour, the child might find the ‘punishment’ of sitting by
    himself very rewarding and so it is likely that the behaviour might happen again.


    We need to consider how our actions might be helping to maintain a difficult behaviour, even when are trying to stop that behaviour from happening.

    Promoting appropriate behaviour
    There are many ways to begin promoting positive behaviour. First, we need to look at how we can avoid a behaviour from happening in the first place and then we need to look at teaching the child new and more appropriate ways of getting what they need, without using difficult behaviours.

    Managing antecedents
    An obvious short term strategy is to avoid the problem situation altogether. For some families, this is a good short term solution to very difficult behaviours that occur in shopping centres or in response to particular sensory environments. Parents can aim to have the child avoid the difficult situation as a way of managing stress in both the child and other members of the family. Avoiding antecedents, however, can only ever be a short term or ‘circuit breaker’ solution. To help behaviours where the trigger can’t be avoided, we need to look at longer term antecedent management.

    The main long term strategy for managing antecedents is to change the environment. While it is unlikely and generally impractical to make major physical changes to the environment, there are many ways that the environment can be made more structured, more predictable and less confusing difficult for children with autism. This can happen in a number of ways:
    - using clear communication
    - using visual supports to make the environment easier to understand
    - visual supports to show when an activity will finish
    - creating routines so the child can predict what will happen next
    - supporting the child’s sensory needs by helping them appropriately avoid or receive the sensory input they require

    Positive reinforcement
    When something positive follows a particular behaviour, that behaviour is more likely to occur in the future because it is perceived favourably. Positive reinforcement is therefore a good way to encourage a child to engage in appropriate behaviours. Positive reinforcement may be anything that that is meaningful and relevant to the child:
    - tangible reinforcers such as a lolly or sticker
    - social praise such as “Good boy! Good sitting!”
    - positive attention
    - favourite toys

    For example, the child might:
     use the toilet and is immediately given a chocolate teddy
     get dressed by herself in the morning and is given a ‘high 5’
     finish a puzzle and gets to play with his music box

    Teaching new skills – the Competing Behaviour model
    The Competing Behaviour model is based on the logic that many different behaviours may serve the same function and can produce the same consequence. When a positive behaviour provides the same type of consequence that challenging behaviour produces, the likelihood that a child will use the alternative behaviour increases. This is especially true if the positive alternative is easier, more efficient or more rewarding than the problem behaviour.

    Establishing a competing behaviour may require the teaching of that skill, providing a minimal response to the challenging behaviour and an immediate and rewarding response when the new behaviour is used by the child. Sometimes, the child may already have the skills to use a competing behaviour and therefore changes can be made immediately to how others react to this behaviour and in particular, how they react to the problem behaviour. In the case of the child who needs to be taught a new skill, achieving change may take a little more time.

  3. #237
    BellyBelly Member
    Add Yeddi on Facebook

    Aug 2010
    In a library somewhere...
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    Resistant Eaters

    What is a resistant eater? Many parents of children with an Autism Spectrum Disorder will describe their child as being a ‘fussy’ eater. However, often the child will not necessarily be a fussy eater, but more of a resistant eater. The child will resist or refuse certain foods often based on their sensory characteristics e.g. colour of food, texture, temperature, position of food on plate etc. Resistant eaters might also be affected by environmental issues e.g. seating position, background noise etc. Resistant eaters may also over-respond to being presented with certain/new foods e.g. may gag, become distressed by just visually seeing a certain food. Children may also become quite distressed or anxious about mealtimes.

    How do I know if my child is a resistant eater?

    Characteristics of a Resistant Eater
    Resistant eaters often exhibit one or more of the following:
    - Limited food selection (10-15 foods or less).
    - Limited food groups (refuses one or more food groups).
    - Anxiety/tantrums/gag when presented with new foods.
    - Require consistent foods presented in the same way served at every meal.

    It is important to first rule out other issues that may be related to a child being resistant to eating certain foods e.g. gastrointestinal discomfort such as reflux, inability to sit independently, oral motor issues such as problems with sucking and swallowing.

    Activities & Suggestions for Resistant Eaters/Mealtime Strategies
    • First try to work out what your child is finding distressing about mealtimes. Is it thesensation of the food or an environmental issue such as bright lights or loud noises? Or both?
    • Slowly introduce food that has the same sensory characteristics as what the child is currently tolerating e.g. if the child likes crunchy foods, introduce other crunchy foods; if the child eats white food, introduce other white foods etc.
    • Let your child play with food during non-mealtimes. Let them have fun playing with it and making a mess during play times. Let them explore the food in a safe and
    non-confronting way.
    • Introduce new foods slowly. The child needs to be able to cope with food being in their environment and on their plate, before it is presented to them to eat.
    • Limit snack times and bottles of milk throughout the day so that your child is
    hungrier at mealtimes.
    • Use visuals to help support trying new foods e.g. First/Then board to encourage child to have one bite/spoon of something new before being given preferred meal/food.
    • Use a social story about trying new foods (depending on the child’s comprehension level).
    • Encourage the child to help prepare meals e.g. stirring, mashing etc.


    References: Ernsperger, L., Stegen-Hanson, T. (2004). Just Take a Bite; Easy, effective answers to food aversions and eating challenges.

  4. #238
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    Well at least I've tried all those food related suggestions... Unfortunately due to food allergies and intolerances there isn't much more we can do... thankfully reading that makes me feel better, like I've done everything I can... whew...

  5. #239
    Registered User

    Jun 2005
    USA
    3,991

    I'm following My blog is Parenting Premmies, I have some info on speech therapy, SPD, etc on there. I aim to add more but time is a factor (haha)
    Great! I'm following you too. Will have to go back and read your posts. I also noticed I've already started following the Snow Princess blog from one of our other mums.

    Thanks for that info Yeddi. We went to the GE clinic today to start trying to eliminate gut issues for fussy eating so it's a topic close to me at the moment- great info!

  6. #240
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    Balnarring, Vic
    1,900

    Accidental post
    Last edited by loulabelle; April 16th, 2011 at 04:34 AM.

  7. #241
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    Gah need a vent & a cry & a slap up the back of the head!
    Evan just had a massive melt down. We had gone for a walk, kids on scooters, evan on bike etc. We got a few streets down & turned back. the kids were not listening, going to far ahead, drifting out on the road etc. Evan LOST IT BIG TIME.
    Threw the bike, screamed & carried on all the way back to the house. Get to the house & he was still going ape ****. Ripping at stuff throwing chairs around etc. I told him he had to go outside. He wouldn't just kept screaming at me. I totally lost it with him, handled it terribly, even smacked him . I put him outside & DH ended up going out there with him & basically watched him while he screamed & yelled how he doesn't care about anything, tried his hardest to break anything he could get his hands on etc. All the while I was inside just fuming & telling DH to stop being an audience for him, he is just playing it up because you are watching. They eventually come inside (after about 20 minutes) & Evan is still carrying on. He started screeching in Iains face & pushing at things with is feet (chairs, a couple of stripy bags I have linen in against the wall) trying to push them over etc. I told Simon he needed to take him out of the house before I smack him, I will not tolerate him screaming at the little ones like that (DH was trying to ignore him & was sitting on the computer about a meter from him, I was in the kitchen trying to get dinner sorted). DH needed up taking him into the bathroom & eventually got him to have a shower (Evan is refusing to have baths/showers lately)
    Evan eventually calmed down till it was time to come out when he started again but not to the same extent. He is now sitting eating dinner watching TV.

    DH went off at me a bit about how I handled it. He said I need to remember its in illness not something he is doing on purpose but I can't help but feel that when he starts that he is playing on it to some extent. Dh said he thinks its like a fit. Which deep down, I know he isn't playing it up. I am just trying to justify my own bad behaviour really. I am ashamed of myself for handling it so badly. I did nothing to help, I just made it worse.

    I don't know what to do.

    Today we went to the shops, had a play in the playground there & then went & had lunch at the RSL club where there is also an indoor play thing. BUT we have been into the shops the last 2 or 3 days in a row. Where he has acted up more & more each time. But he was "ok" today in comparison but then this hours later...

    Can I go to a OT off my own back or do I need to be referred? He obviously has sensory issues & I am doing NOTHING at all to help him when he hits overload. I feel awful, lost & like I need a good punch int eh face for being such a terrible mum

  8. #242
    Registered User

    Mar 2006
    Brisbane
    1,731

    FJ, I don't know if you remember me. I used to be Rayla72 and I'm a friend of Trish's (Tehya's mum).

    Don't be too hard on yourself. It's incredibly hard being consistently patient with special needs kids, not to mention the fact that you're so heavily pregnant and all the stress that brings. I've lost it with my 9yo autistic daughter too so I get the guilt, but it's important to just wipe the slate clean and keep on truckin'. Tomorrow's another day.

  9. #243
    BellyBelly Member
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    Aug 2010
    In a library somewhere...
    788

    Firstly, you are NOT a terrible mum! We all have days like that. Also, you're only starting out on your journey to find the tools and understand the uniqueness of your son's condition, and at first there is a lot of hit and miss. What works one day might not work another, and unfortunately it takes time and experience to build your arsenal of tricks. It sounds like it is definitely over-stimulation from being at the shops. Outside didn't work this time, it's a better tool for when they are reacting to a lack of stimulus. Perhaps if it happens again, can you try to get your DH to do deep pressure (squishing him between two pillows) making a game out of it. Deep pressure is meant to be calming it might work better at times like that. Even a bear hug could help a lot. What you DH says about a fit is actually how I would describe it too. My DD used to fit for real and she has a very distinctive cry that she only makes after having one, and also after she has calmed down on the occasions when she has gone so off the handle that I've had to restrain her during some meltdowns.

    You can go see a private OT, no you don't need a referral but it helps. Also, does you community allied health organisation run a drop in clinic?

    There is another tool to help identify sensory triggers so you know whether to add or remove stimulation, I'll see if I can find it.

  10. #244
    BellyBelly Member
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    Aug 2010
    In a library somewhere...
    788

    Here it is. It's a troubleshooting acronym from Sensational Kids by Lucy Jane Miller:

    A SECRET

    Attention: Is there a way I can draw my child's attention away from his anxiety?
    Sensation: Is there a sensation that is alarming my child right now? If so, what is it, and can it be modified? Can I use another sensation to override the alarming one?
    Emotion: What emotion is my child experiencing, and what techniques do I know that work best when he feels this way?
    Culture: What part of our family culture (like shopping) can be changed to avoid situations like this in the future? Can I do these things without my child, or can we amend them to be on a smaller scale?
    Relationships: Is there something in his relationship with me or someone else right now that's causing him to act this way? What can I do about it?
    Environment: What in the environment is setting my child off? How can I change it?
    Task: What is troubling my child about the task at hand? How can the task be modified so that it is not so problematic for my child? Is there another task I can substitute now that will provide a calming influence?

    I don't know if it will help (we've found it good) but better to have it and not need it. Hopefully it will be empowering.

  11. #245
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    Im not sure of pressure would help. There was one time he had a melt down like this one, which was triggered by Glenn removing arrows Evan had placed around the house for Santa to find the basket with a letter he put out (in November mind you). Evan responded by punching Glenn in the stomach. To which he was sent to his room. Where he lost it completely. DH was in bed, I had to get him to get up & help me. He tried to calm Evan while I calmed Glenn (he really hurt him) & in that instance the roles where reversed DH was handling it badly so I went in & asked him to go out & I tried to help Evan. I put him on my lap so he was straddling my knees & just tried to hold him close. He fought with such might. But It was all I could think of to do, he was going to hurt himself. He ended up biting me on the arm which left a bruise the size of a mans fist. He also ripped at my ear rings, my hair etc etc.
    Once that part of it was over he was extremely hyperactive, obsessing over checking that all his arrows where still where he put them etc.
    When he is this way he reacts badly to being touched (so smacking him was the worst thing, mind you this time round he was so caught up in screaming & yelling I don't think he really noticed). But yeah if I was to try & take him by the hand/arm, direct him by placing a hand on his back & "push" him etc he spits venom almost! This is where its hard. He doesn't want to be touched, looked at, spoken too etc.

    I did have a little chat with Evan just before. Told him that I love him & that I just get so cranky & even scared when he behaves that way. But im not really cranky at him, Im cranky at myself because I don't know how to help him. He said he was sorry also & that it would have been ok if we had just kept going to the park (he thought thats where we were going on the walk).
    Its strange how he focus on what he thinks is the problem. But its not. It wasn't that we said No to the park. It was no more walk someone is going to get hit by a car!
    Or earlier today, he got into trouble after I had already said not to use the skipping rope the way he was, he was threading it down from the top bunk between the wall & teh bed & the pulling things back up that Glenn had tied to the bottom. BUT yanking it up against the wall. Which I explained was going to damage the walls. But then later they were doing it again & he got himself caught in it trying to get down off the bed & freaked out thinking he was choking. BUT not seeing I was cranky at doing what I had already asked them not too, he got caught up in Blaming Isla for holding on to it & he was choking. He wasn't choking by the way. He had it stuck around his elbow & it was across his chin.

    Eta- thanks Yeddi. I will try & remember that. This time round I have no idea! LOL This is going to be so hard with 5 kids.

  12. #246
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    Wow what a huge day. Obviously he had issues coping with a "change" in plans (at least in his eyes).

    Often I find that M has more issues the more sensory situations she's been in. If I were to take her to Woollies, you can be guaranteed that we would have a meltdown later in the day due to things going not according to her plan. If I took her to an indoor play centre... we'd last around 20 minutes before her anxieties increased enough to have to carry her out. She doesn't cope during school holidays with any enclosed activities, so shops are out, the local hotel which has a playground is out, indoor playcentres are out... we just can't do it. At first I hated it, I felt punished, but now... now I'm relieved that I know what triggers her and can avoid it. Both of us are happier due to the decrease in meltdowns.

  13. #247
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    IN those situations is M happy to be there though? To begin with? See Evan likes going to play centers & things like that. He can get very silly but its not his anxiety that comes out. Like yesterday, this one place at the RSL has playstations set up. I had to keep telling him to leave them as he was trying to work out how to turn them all on, getting behind the TV etc. Knows no boundaries.
    With going for a walk yesterday. We said at the start we are not going to the park. He said OK. BUT then we walked in that direction. So I guess thats where things went wrong.
    He wet the bed last night, which I was expecting. He always does after a carry on like that.

    How am I going to avoid situations that trigger when I have 4 other kids.

  14. #248
    Registered User

    Jun 2005
    USA
    3,991

    Perhaps you need a way of Evan being able to remove stimulation when he becomes overwhelmed? A certain book or toy or something he likes that he can absorb himself in and ignore everything else? Not sure, but at home you could perhaps try a "time away" teepee (or just basic tent sort of thing made from a sheet) that he can go inside to sort of shut down for a little while. Headphones to block out sound? There might be some more info out there on sensory avoidant behaviour that could help.

    My son is sensory seeking so cuddles work really well for him. He still becomes over loaded when out and about so I guess it's the type of sensory stimulation that is the issue? He's really sensory seeking lately- wants his dummy and cuddles all day. I'm going to have to look into some sensory stuff like a weighed vest and the mouth toys I think. We have a vibrating toy that he hates and he doesn't much like other teething toys, only the dummy so I'm not really sure TBH.

    The blog is racing along. I still have a million things to write. I think I'm overwhelming myself at the moment with my desperation to "fix" him. Is this a stage of denial do you think? I'm paranoid my second son has sensory issues now too and I feel a like distancing myself a bit. I just don't feel like I can do this.

    Oh, and I am SICK TO DEATH of hearing the SAME fricking phrases ALL day. I feel like screaming at the moment. Just say something normal!!!

  15. #249
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD
    5,471

    He did have a DS but he lost it. It either fell out of the car at some point or it was stolen from the car when I had some work done on it. But we can't afford to replace it atm My main hurdle I think is finding that key to calming him down because he just explodes with no real warning & thats it. nothing is going to calm him. He would destroy a tent, pull the wires out of head phones etc. WHen he gets that way you just have to stand back & take away things he could break.

    Meow, I am also paranoid that my other boys (im going to have FOUR!) will all have the same problems. Glenn does. Displays in other ways but its there. Iain I think he is just Iain but he has a few things that make me wonder & I will be keeping an eye on it. Loves things on his head, seeks out sensory things on his head. He is very particular/neat freak that sort of thing. But he is a happy little guy so I think what I see I am reading too much into.
    But Then we have this little guy still in my belly. Who's pregnancy landed smack in the middle of what turned out to be the most stressful time in my life. Then I read that article suggesting that increases the risk of an ASD. So I kinda feel like I am doomed & will be run off my feet with 4 ASD kids. That will be fun!

  16. #250
    Registered User

    May 2008
    Fraser Coast, Qld
    336

    This is my first time in here and to be honest I don't know where to begin. My oldest DD Miss 5 has been having some issues for about a year or two. To be honest I cannot really pinpoint when it begun. It started with the seat belt (h harness) being too tight, touching her belly. We had screaming, hysterical fights all the way into daycare(20 min drive). It was horrible. Then it started with clothing, socks needing lumpy bits cut out, tags on clothing cut off, nothing touching her belly, no form fitted clothing. Then it started with shoes. And another prob is when she started school this year daycare forgot to pick her up three days in a row in her second week of school. So then the anxiety started and things got really bad. I also have anxiety issues so my anxiety was through the roof too and resulted in me seeking help.

    I have held off till now in getting her help, DP and I just put it down to normal 'growing up' issues. But we (well mainly me) have come to the conclusion that this is not the norm. Screaming hysterical fits in the car over very trivial things (well trivial to us) are not something that should be happening. I look at my daughter and she is a bright confident little girl. So how could this happen?? Sounds so odd I know, but honestly I never ever thought she had sensory issues till someone mentioned it to me. I don't want to have her 'diagnosed' I just want to work through the sensory issues and help her. I honestly don't know what to do.

    We walked into a supermarket the other day and she flipped out. She is normally so good in there. She said her shirt was not perfect and it felt funny and was itching her. It was a cotton tshirt. She flipped out crying and flapping her arms about. I didn't know what to do and told her off. Which I feel incredibly bad for now. But I think in that moment I realised, ok its time to seek some help from an OT.

    Half the battle though is that DP knows something is not quite right and she doesn't do this all the time with him, mainly me. And he thinks she doesn't need help. Clearly we do need help, even if its just how to react when she does do this IYKWIM? Telling her off is not good, its not helping her and it stresses me out.

    Sorry for the long post....have needed to get that all out.

  17. #251
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    FJ - M loves going to play centres and the shops... she is excited at the thought... then when she gets there at that high level of anticipation and the sensory stuff hits her she doesn't last long, or if she does... we pay for it later. Sometimes she's good for an hour and we get home and she is messy the rest of the arvo.

    Twinkle, have a look at Sensory processing disorder and tactile dysfunction. Its very common and most of us have some degree of it, however, its when it becomes life altering that they suggest OT.

  18. #252
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Cairns
    1,787

    Haven't popped in in ages - everyone.

    FJ - don't beat yourself up, OK? Meltdowns are pretty confronting at the best of times, even when you're experienced with them and have effective strategies to help with them (which you won't have yet being so new with your dx) they take all of your energy and focus. You're so close to being in labour it's not funny, it's a really hard time to deal with a meltdown both physically and emotionally. We got our dx when I was 36 weeks pregnant with DD and it was a really intense time. I highly doubt there'd be a single ASD parent who can say that they haven't, at some point, responded to a meltdown in a way that was unhelpful. All you can do is recognise that you're human, recognise how your response impacts on the situation, and learn from it. And you've done this. So give yourself a big pat on the back for getting that far, because it's bloody difficult.

    I had a thought, apart from possible sensory issues, possibly Evan would find it helpful to have his expectations managed, maybe even visually (even kids who don't have communication delays do really well with visual supports). The speechie at AQ put it well, people with ASD are such strong visual thinkers that it exacerbates the tendency to need a routine (which is also a need for predictability due to sensory issues); they wake with a literal mental picture of how the day is going to go, and unless you can match the strength of their visual with expectations of your own, it can result in huge conflict (ie: meltdown), as they are constantly being prompted by their own visual which is clashing with reality. You said that Evan told you that it would have been OK if you'd gone to the park, because that's where he was expecting to go. Not to say that you should have gone to the park, but finding an effective strategy for communicating exactly what is happening in the day (could be PECs, could be some other strategy, whatever works best for you) might help manage his expectations. I find if I'm not clear or concise enough, or worse, communicate what's going to happen at the wrong time - Euan hasn't got much past the 'First/Then' stage so we have to work in very small blocks of time - so if I say we're going to have a swim later, meaning later that day, all hell breaks loose because he thinks that means 'next'. But yeah, managing expectations I find is one of the biggest things for us, we can change the routine if we find a way to manage the expectation. Just shout out if you want to catch up at any point, I've been waiting for you to have a baby LOL so haven't been in touch.

    Meow - sorry to LOL, but I can identify with hearing the same phrase all day long. We've listened to/watched The. Same. Two. Wiggles. Songs. (said through gritted teeth) all day today. Euan got up at 5:30 this morning, we woke to the sound of him putting the wiggles DVD in the DVD player. So when I say all day, I mean all day. We put a new lock on the cabinet so he can't access the DVD player without our assistance.

    Twinkle - welcome. Have you checked out the SPD bloggers network? You might find it helpful, there's some pretty clued up writers in there, all speaking from their own experience.

    Hi to everyone else. Sorry I haven't read over much more than this page. We're doing good, Euan is making huge progress at EI. He's been toileting (wees only, but he's now waiting for a nappy to have a poo, which is progress in itself), and is wearing undies at EI with no accidents. At home we're using training pants, because with carpets, beds and a commando crawling, breastfeeding to sleep baby I am waiting for him to get a bit more reliable before we go the undies road. His speech has come on heaps, although his most complex speech is still mostly echolalic he is responding to questions that are more complex than ever before. And he's a lot more balanced, although we still have days/weeks where he goes through meltdowns, but nothing compared to before.

    Our big thing at the moment is we are probably going to trial gluten free. We've cut pasta from his diet, and we've noticed an improvement in both behaviour and the 'quality' of his poo (we used to get pretty horrendous poo). A couple of nights of pasta and it's really obvious, although he still has bread and muesli, so a reasonable amount of gluten in the diet, even cutting some has an effect. So we're looking into the full gluten free thingi, I'll admit I'm finding it a little daunting but in a way exciting. We'll go gluten free at home, although there might be a few things that DP and I have that Euan doesn't eat now, all bread/pasta etc will be gluten free. We're not going to consider casein free at this point, because I don't know that I could maintain a balanced diet with what E will and won't eat.

    Christy, are you guys gluten free, or just dairy? Anyone else here doing the gluten free thing?

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