Advice on being forced to use a Chinese name

[Kazmar]

Your baby, your choice Not disrespectful, just you're the mother and father and you name your baby

[~*familyof3*~]

Ild have to say when it comes down to it you should do what you and your DF want to not what they want you to.Its your child not theirs you get to choose and like its been said if you give in to them now what else will they be asking of you.

As for the choosing a date to be induced/c-sect tell them what ever date the doc says is good and safe will be the date. Your childs safety comes first

[Nay]

Thanks so much for everyones opinions.
I had a chat with DF when he got home from work and he told me not to worry about it. He absolutely doesn't want a Chinese name for Jamie, and certainly not on the birth certificate. *pheeew lol*
in regards to the Chinese name they choose, well there isn't much we can do about it becoz they will prob just do it anyways inspite of what we say.

I'm certainly not letting her decide on the day I give birth. Lol DF just laughed and said no way. So to save us the trouble of arguing we aren't bringing that one up with the inlaws and if I do get to choose my date, it will be what is right for us and we will be just telling them it is doctors orders and not open for discussion

So thanks everyone for all ur input, unreally helped me step up and put my foot down

[Rivlas]

I will start by saying good luck.

My sister is married to a Chinese guy and was born in Australia. His father spoke English while his mother refused to learn English.
When their DD was born she caould have been called anything as she was not recongised. When they had a son it was another matter. He was given a huge amount of money (which the parents split between the two children) and my sister was told he had to have a chinese name. He does not have a chinese name but I think he has a Chinese second name but not sure if it is on his birth cert. They have another son who does not have a Chinese name. Son no 1 was always seated at the main table ahead of my sister and their daughter was alos shoved to the back.
The harder they pushed my sister the harder she resisted to the point she hated going interstate to visit.

If you and your DH agree on the name you have picked then stick to it. Once they know you will give in they will push harder and it can make your life unbearable. These are your children not your parents.
I also like your plan on not letting them know when you are going to have the baby.

[Daydream Believer]

Your baby, your choice Not disrespectful, just you're the mother and father and you name your baby

:yeahthat:

[Phteven]

I had problem this with my ILs.
FIL already had a name picked out and MIL thought we were going to name it after her. Luckily SIL used MILs name so that was a non-issue and we just ignored FILs name.
In the end, to keep it fair, we picked names that weren't from either of our cultures. FIL still tried to call Yasin by his name but Yasin never answered to it so he's given up lol.

I don't see any reason to give your child a Chinese name if you don't like any of them but to me it seems fair that if you reject your DH's culture when you select names that you should also reject your own.

[dace101]

Perhaps a compromise where the in-laws could arrange a special naming ceremony to give baby a Chinese name.

While it won't be on the birth certificate, this may help them feel that they were listened to and that their culture was respected (if you're comfortable doing this).

I agree with a previous poster; this type of situation will set a precedence for your extended-family dynamic, but there's no reason everyone can't be happy if you meet in the middle.

Good luck!

[Blondie]

A difficult one but I feel its yours and your Husbands choice not theirs...if you and your DH have named your child then stick to your guns Families often have the best intentions but can more often then not come across pushy. My Husband is the only one in his family that can carry on the Family Last name and I am pregnant with a Boy so I know the pressue of picking a family name