how do you choose baby names?

[HotI]

dh and I have different methods and his is wrong I like to have a couple of boys names and couple of girls names chosenway before baby due so I can ponder them, then when baby is born decide which name fits.

dh just wants to wait until baby is born and think of one then.

apart from his idea just being dumb, I usually get quite weak after birth and my voice doesn't work properly, and so dh gets a greater say in the decision. he did this first time around with surnames, and ,2nd time around with first and second name (1st I don't mind, 2nd I really dislike). I really don't want to get trampled this time, but trying to get him to engage with name ideas is frustrating. I also don't have many names I love this time, so I would like his input.

so, after that essay, how do you and your partner choose names? ifyou have different styles, how do you work around them?

thanks.

[Mother Goose]

With dd1, I kept raising the subject with dh for him to simply veto every. Single. Name. So at 38 weeks I told him he had the choice of discussing this with me or losing all say in the matter and that I planned to pick a particular name (which would have really really offended his mum). It worked and we had three names for each gender chosen within 2 hours. Which was lucky because I had been bluffing!

With dd2, we discussed names from about 20 weeks but couldn't decide on anything. So whilst we waited to go in to surf, we sat with the iPad cruising the births, deaths, and marriages registry! Funnily, a name I had suggested 4 times was one that dh suggested. Of course I quickly accepted! So we went in with 2 choices and an agreement that of neither suited, we would just name the baby "baby surname" until we could decide. We knew we were having a girl the second time around. Dh also had memories of first time around and wanted to avoid the controversial lol.

With both girls, we agreed that we wouldn't make the final name choice (from our list) until we met the baby so we could chose something suitable.

[Chocaholic]

DH chose DS1's name. I liked it so didn't disagree.

With DS2 he decided he was going to call him Denis which is his father's middle name. I said no chance in hell or words to that effect. He refused to give me other options. I told him names I liked and asked him many times to discuss it. He refused. In the birthing suite after DS2 was born, the midwife asked if we had a name and I told her my choice with Denis as a middle name. To this day, I still don't know if DH likes it but too bad.

I dislike both of my boys middle names but they are family names on my DH's side so I agreed. I never use them and it is only on their birth certificate.

If your DH refuses to discuss it, tell him he chose the other children's names and now it's your turn. He can either help or shut up.

[Arimeh]

Ds - we had a name picked at 20 weeks and then at 36 weeks I changed my mind when my kiwi friend at work said it and I didn't like how she said it. So I searched for another one and dh agreed.

Dd1 - we tossed up lots of names and then dh suggested mykelti who is an actor from Forrest gump. I liked the sound of how I thought it was pronounced - we then found out it is pronounced Michael t. But we both liked our pronounciation of it and mehkelti stuck.

Dd2 - when she was born, we were naming her airlia. She came out and when I told my sister her name, she said that its too hard to pronounce and we couldn't call her that. So I tossed the name and then the next morning when I was up with the baby at 5am, the sun had just come up and I felt so very blessed and a bit in paradise so Eden came to me. When dh got up I told him what I wanted to call her, he disagreed because its so normal for us LOL eventually he agreed because he couldn't think of anything else that suited.

Dd3 - when we found out she was a girl we knew her name was going to be Calliope lotus. Then on the 3d scan at 37 weeks we felt she didn't look like a Calliope and selected sahti as a back up name - just in case. Luckily we did!

This time we have stopped talking about names and nothing feels right so we are just going to wing it and see what he looks like. Dh and I are pretty respectful of each other though so if one of us hates a name, we just keep looking until we find the right one (or can't find anything else that fits)

[HotI]

I did ask DD for inspiration after reading 'top 10 guidelines for choosing a baby name', which mentioned naming baby after someone famous. After telling me 'we can't choose til baby comes out' (mmm, maybe she is more like DH than i realised), she offered up Mr Maker. So, i can always threaten DH with that one.

I want a name that is easy to pronounce so when my voice is a bit dodgy, i can still say it. DD also has trouble with some names and words at the moment, so i want something she can say. She still has trouble with DS name (e t h a n).

[Arcadia]

Dh and I had a short list of boys and girls, but when dd was born I just named her without even asking him lol...middle name and everything. He loves it though so it was fine.

Ds we were undecided but only really had one contender for a boy which Dh loved and Iiked a lot but didn't love. When he was born Dh named him pretty quickly but I felt unsure for a while. It wasn't until we started using his nickname it all clicked for me and it is the perfect name for him.

This baby had better be a girl because we only have one name and its a girls name. I have loved it for years and was a bit shocked when I realized one if the bb girls has a daughter with that name, but I've already chatted to her lol because that's who this baby is!!! Unless I'm completely wrong and then I will have to scramble for a boys name!!

Ummm did that reveal any method??? Just lots of talking between Dh and I is our only method, and we don't bring in anyone else because I don't want to know their opinions Bahaha!

[HotI]

but when dd was born I just named her without even asking him lol...middle name and everything.

This is my backup plan! We do have a few girl's names that we both like. Boys names seem harder.

[Arimeh]

Boys names are SO hard. I usually don't struggle for names, but omg this time its really hard.

[Jellyfish]

Both my girls names just came to me out of nowhere and I was lucky there was no objections from those involved because I wasn't budging. They just felt like their names.

Have you explained your concerns re: discussing things post birth? Does he give you any reassurance or strategy to overcome it?

[Artechim]

Can you tell him to wait on the name announcement for a day or so after the birth? He doesn't need to be supplying a name to family and friends, won't kill anyone to wait for a bit and in the meantime they can be happy knowing the gender and that everyone is healthy.

I agreed with DH's name for DD1 and I don't really like it. I picked two girls names for DD2 that we both agreed on and waited to see what hair colour she had to decide which one to use lol. It seemed like good logic at the time

[Amity]

With DS1 we had a list of three boys' names - and when he was born prem and we weren't sure he was going to make it, we chose the name that meant "strength" or "kingly".

With DS2, XH and I were barely speaking to each other. I'd wanted one name (again I had a short list of three) and my mum and Ds1 had been calling my belly that name for months. When he was born, XH said he wanted to call him Name1 name2. I detested all the nicknames for Name1 but loved the nickname for name2. So I said to XH that none of my children were being named nickname1 but he could have name2 name1 with nickname2. And so DS2 was named.

Lucky They were both boys - I found girls names much harder. DS1 was going to be Matilda - we had agreed on that. DS2 would have been nameless as a girl - there was no communication at all about girls names at that stage. Even though we didn't know what we were having!

[raffy]

Usually I'm the one that comes up with names and DH either says yay or nay, with DS1, being the first, I had an abundance of both boy and girl names. For a girl we had decided or Aaliyah Jayde and neither or us loved anything else, for a boy I had a short list of about 4 names and on that list DH only liked the fourth (which I wasn't totally sold on) but we didn't come up with anything we liked any better so he is C o o p e r. With DS2 we realised we had made an ABC pattern and if we found a 'D' name we loved we'd go with it so that narrowed it down a bit, because DH had got the final day on DS1s name I said I get the final day on this one, again we found loads of girls names we loved and narrowed it down to Delany, Della or Delta but not much inspiration for boys then found out he was in fact a boy lol I remember driving along one day and thinking of the names Dylan and Hayden which I liked but thought they were to 'normal' I then mooshed them together and got D a y l e n and loved it and DH didn't come up with anything he liked better so agreed to it if his middle name was DHs first name. With this baby again I'm the one doing all the searching and suggesting and DH is just saying yay or nay. 'E' names are hard but and we've agreed we'll ditch the pattern if we don't find something we both love,

[Charlotte91]

Oh, congratulations!

We picked out a Isabelle with DD, but thought she was going to be a boy so didn't really get fussed on girls name. DH had a boys name picked out for YEARS and so we just chose that and his middle name. Then about 18w when we were on holiday in Bright DH just turns to me and says "What about Hannah?" And I shrugged and said "Yeah OK, but it's a boy." And DD has my middle name as her middle name too.
Isabelle was so popular at the time, too.

With DS, I had picked a girls name. When DD was in NICU there was a little girl in Room 2 with DD who's sister was Tallulah and I fell in love with the name, upset I hadn't heard it before DD was born.
A boy's name was harder. We chose Cody, then changed it to Coby, then Colby. And we were looking at a metal magazine that had an interview of our favourite artist (Corey Taylor of Slipknot and Stone Sour) and DH jokes "What about colby ta yl or?" and we laughed and just stared at each other and said "THAT'S IT!"

So, my advice would be to chuck a few name around and if it just feels right, do it!

[BOC]

With #1 I had a girls name I really loved and DH had a boys name he really loved. So it was sorted & the deal was whoever didn't pick the first time got to name #2.

Well #2 turned out to be #2 & #3. I had two non-gender specific names I loved and he had none. He still argued that he wanted to name one but then DS started calling them by the names I had picked so he gave in hehehe.

[meow]

First baby we threw names around and were doing okay chatting about it. But I had a girl's name I couldn't give up on that my H didn't like. I tried to like other names but eventually I had to admit that I would be heart broken with any other girl's name and it HAD to be that name so how could we work this out. Over time my H became obsessed with a boy's name that I didn't like and he wouldn't quit on it. Even though I felt sure I was having a boy, in desperation for my girl's name I struck a deal with him that he could name a boy and I could name a girl. We just sort of half-heartedly agreed and stopped talking about it seeing we'd come to impasse.

My son was born and about 30 mins after the MWs asked what we were thinking of calling him. We looked at each other knowing that the moment of truth was there. My H said "I want to call him E". I gave one more attempt at my choice "Are you sure not J?" and he said he really wanted E. I felt weak like you so soon after birth and I agreed. I actually harboured some resentment over that as it took about 2 years for me to like my son's name and I felt betrayed that my H hadn't softened to my choice after watching me give birth.

Second baby I said "You named the first one, this name is my choice. Okay? Great!". He didn't complain and even though he said my name choice wasn't his first choice he never tried to get me to choose another name.

If we have a third I have already decided what names I want so I've run them by my H already to make sure he agrees

[JLeigh29]

With DS we started throwing around names very early on in the piece. Usually the other person would say, 'nope!' But we'd get the occasional, 'maybe...' I just kept saying, 'We'll know it when we hear it.' Then DH fell in love with a girls name that was passable, so I let him have that. We were on hols after we'd found out it was a boy, and throwing around more names - street names, famous people, names that rhyme with other names, combining two or more names - when DH suggested 'the one'. We just knew. His middle name is DH's name, a bit of a tradition on both sides. We always had the option that if we hated it when DS was here, we'd change. Not sure what to, as we had nothing else!!

This time around we're doing the same. A girl name came easily, but we won't be needing that now - I was totally in love, and the middle name had family connections too We have one boys name we keep coming back to, but we haven't made a definite choice. DS's unusual name has set a precedent too, and most names of kids I've taught are out (so take out 99% of names!). DS wants to call him Bambi, or Bob... Not sure what we'll do for middle names though...

[Liminal]

We talk about it from around 20 weeks on. We start with a long list of names that basically meet the criteria of "if we HAD to have this name, due to a curse or something, we'd be fine." We then tend to each pick out our top 10 from those. Last time there were about 4 common names on both our to 10 lists and by 35 weeks we stick with our favourite at that point so as to not have to talk about it any more.

I can imagine deciding after birth but would probably not want to decide for a few days at least. My husband was nameless for a month or so because his parents couldn't agree.

[Ladylove]

We start talking about names the moment we decide its time to make a baby! So it can be quite a long process! We rarely agree on names but I'm the only one truly passionate about certain names, such as DD's. Hubby hated that name for a good 6 months then I noticed he didn't face palm me anymore when I mentioned it which I took as I sign I was making headway. Then he gradually warmed to it without overtly admitting he was, them when DD was born I must have looked such a wreak that the softy let me choose her name... And guess what I chose?!

So yeah, basically I sneakily manipulated my husband for months.

But now he's saying he gets to choose this bub's name. That was not part of the deal!