I think it's a lovely idea, even if you're not deliberately naming your child *after* another family member (ie, you just happen to like the name and it just so happens there's a Jennifer in the family who, sadly, is deceased). But on the other hand, I can sort of see your DH's perspective - maybe he's worried about being seen as disrespecting the baby's memory, or that it might be a 'bad omen', so to speak?
I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you should do :/ It's a tricky situation. Maybe if you and your DH can sit down with his grandma, talk openly about everything and see if maybe that changes his perspective on things if he can see that his grandma is comfortable with the idea?
Good luck with whichever direction you go in, I hope you find the perfect name soon (if you're not already sitting on it, that is )!
I think it is a lovely idea. I would love to use the name 'Verna' after my great Aunt who passed away for a middle name, DH is not so keen though. I can understand also that your DH may not be comfortable with the choice as I too would respect that.
On one hand I can see that it is a very beautiful gesture but on the other I can see that having your DH's grandmother holding a little bubba named Jennifer could be a little distressing for her. I think it is definitely something you would have to discuss with those closest to your DH's grandmother and eventually with the grandmother herself.
I know for me, I would love for one of my grand kids or great grand kids to have Noah as a middle name for their child, but actually naming their child Noah would be another thing... it would take a lot of strength to be able to bond to a related child with the same name. That's just my opinion though.
I think it's an honor personally - but everyone feels differently about these things. It seems like your husband is fairly anti the whole idea which probably is more immediately relevant?
If it were me I would talk to your husband about the honor of that name, the feelings it may bring up for your gran etc etc etc. If he was to agree I would then ask his gran.
My daughter is Lucy Philomena which is the full name of her paternal great grandmother - she died the day I discovered I was pregnant with her. Thus the name. We asked my husbands family who saw it as an honor. I know this is not the same as a still born baby.
I don't think it would be weird at all. Like OPs have said more like an honour. If DHs family don't have an issue with it then it really shouldn't be a drama. They might quite like it if they had the chance to hear the idea. Then again if DH can't get past it then it's probably not going to happen. I don't think it would be strange if the baby saw the grave etc, they would just know that they share the same name.
DS3's middle name is the same as DPs brother who passed way when he was 21, his family loved the idea.
I don't think its weird at all.
When I have studied family history its quite common to give a sibling the name of an earlier sibling who has died. I think that's a bit more harder to take but obviously people were fine with it.
My Mums sister died one month before I was born, her name was Mary Adeline (referred to as Adeline)
I was then named Mary, a name I have come to treasure because of its reference to a special person in my families life that I wish I had gotten to meet.
My DH and I wanted a family name for my DD, so we called her Adeline
We have had nothing but wonderful feedback from the family, including the original Adelines husband, brother and of course my Mum.
I hope my DD grows up feeling the same pride in using a loved ones name that I have
It must be hard when your DH feels awkward about it, good luck in arriving at the perfect name for your family.
)!
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It seems like your husband is fairly anti the whole idea which probably is more immediately relevant?
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