Totally agree. Being gentle doesn't mean that the child knows whats best Sometimes mummy's and daddy's have to show kids that we do know best, after all this is our job! I believe in firm but fair, I'm not a walk over but my kids aren't yelled at, belittled or disempowered. Consistancy and love are most important. And I do say no and its ok! But even in situations where I do say no or don't comply with tantrums I still communicate.

As for changing your parenting style, I do it on a daily basis. Nothing I do is set in stone, if something I'm doing doesn't work then I try something else. But my fundamentals are still the same