Try to take it as a compliment. From someone who has BTDT I can tell you it's more annoying and quite a bit hurtful when nobody asks to look after your baby.
I was hounded with my first and second with Grandparents offering but it doesn't happen with my younger two and TBH it would be nice if I was asked. I always feel like I'm being a PIA if I do the asking.
I totally get that you're not ready to leave your baby and don't like feeling pressured into it though
It's important to feel comfortable when leaving your baby with someone.
I have left DD with DH for a couple of hours at a time on several occasions (plus lots of times when he took her so I could get some sleep during the day). I've left her with my mum for an hour or two, and once left my mum and stepdad come to our place to babysit DD who was sleeping the whole time, when DH and I went out for dinner together.
I do find it hard to leave her. If I'm awake I'm constantly thinking about her and wondering how she is. I find it helpful to know I can phone at any time to check and mum or DH will tell me honestly. I haven't gone more than about 20 minutes travel away from DD at any time, yet.
But I also think it is healthy for me to be able to leave her with loved, loving family member. I am all for the "children raised by a village" idea. It's good for my mum and certainly good for DH to know that, in a pinch, they can look after the baby and it'll be just fine for everyone.
When you decide you want to be able to leave your baby with someone you trust completely, whenever that is, you can work up to it very slowly. That's what I've done. Leave them in the room together for a few minutes and you be elsewhere in the house. Gradually, as you feel comfy, extend the time you can be in a different room getting something done (this is really useful, among other things - I've had mum come over to play with the baby while I get housework done and it's so much easier than trying to cram it in while DD is asleep for all of 25 minutes at a time). Then see if the trusted person can take the baby for a 5 or 10 minute walk in the pram without you, and see how that goes (I've also had Mum take DD for a walk in our local neighbourhood - she gets to show off her granddaughter and I get some peaceful time at home, just for a little while - it's wonderful, even though I do miss DD too). Eventually you can work up to leaving them for longer times, up to an hour, and you can whizz out for a coffee with a friend or whatever, if you want to. It will be possible in time to go out for the evening to a celebration or to catch a film, and you and baby will both be comfortable and relaxed about it.
There is no reason at all to do things suddenly or to do anything you are not yet comfortable with, but it will all happen in time, I'm sure.
With my first I was extremly proud and never comfortable with anyone wanting to take him 'away' from me. Although in saying that I didnt have anyone offer to look after him for me so the choice was taken away. I was extremely stressed when pg with son number 2 and stress took its toll.
It saddens me to think that my children have missed out on the early bonding with their grandparents and extrended family as I grew up with neither. I have tried my darnest to do the best I can and it just stressed me no end.
Honestly, be thankfull that your mother is taking so much interest in you DS and your welfare. Although you say that you dont need the 'break' away from DS, a slight 'break' even for an hour is heaven sent and doesnt mean you'll be bad mother for admitting that it was nice and well deserved.
Motherhood is a wonderful journey shared hon. Quiet obviously your doing a wonderful job cause others can see what a fabulous little person you have created and want a little piece of him. well done
When my DS was 8 months old we were in the same position - fed to sleep and had never been left with anyone other than short stints with DH. As he got older the length of time I could leave him with DH has increased and now I can leave them together all day. He is now 26 months old and yesterday I let him go to the neighbours when they were walking past and I followed 10 minutes later after I fed the baby. That is the first time that he has been in the care of anyone other than myself or DH.
So I don't think it is odd that you don't want to be parted from your baby.
As Raven said, take it as a compliment that your family wants to babysit. No one in my family has ever offered to look after DS, even when they knew that DH would have to miss the birth of our second child because we had no one to look after DS.
Heaven: I was actually just thinking of you this morning, and wondering how it went. I'm glad it went so well. Do you think you'll do it again any time soon?
So, I'm going to the 'girls breakfast' tomorrow morning, which means I'm leaving DS with DH for 1-2 hours. I think I'm okay with that - really, it would be good for DH and DS to have more one-on-one time. Baby steps...
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well done
Had a great time!! lol. And I didn't cry, haha.
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