hi,, I too have one of these kids.. Jacob has days where I am close to or in tears out of absolute frustration.. his tantrums get on top of me some days and the other kids get neglected at times so I can deal with him..

The one thing I find that does work (occassionally) is to get on my knees take a hold of his shoulders and ask what is wrong? What can mummy do to fix it? and if all else fails I tell him he is hurting my feeling by yelling at me.. and then I ask for a huggle.. It doesn't always difuse the situation but it helps..

Jacob was very much like your son when We brought our DD home.. The biggest thing we found that helped was getting him to help us with her. He would get the nappies, wipes and put the nappy in the bin for us.. Wash her feet when it was bath time. help me dry her ect...

I found time out didn't work if Jacob went to his room.. i try to be consisten when he is being really painful and I make him sit by the front door. I don't make him sit there for any specific amount of time but just enough to make him stop what he is doing and take a break.. he doesn't like that. but usually settles down..

gosh I could go on and on but my DD is now awake..