They are concerned about my 3 yo development

[Nelle]

I'm another who says to go see a speech pathologist if you can. If you can afford private, you can miss a waiting list of up to (or beyond!) 6 months. My 3yo really liked speech therapy, it's just like playing for them. But you can ask questions about good ways to play with your child to encourage speech, little tricks and tips. A few sessions can make a huge difference.

ETA: I should say - don't feel bad about all the speech therapy comments, like we've read your post and gone 'oh DUH Liviam, of COURSE she should be in speech therapy!' It's just that, now that I've had some experience with speech therapy and can see the good it can do in a short time, you may as well - it won't do any harm. xo

[misty]

She is 3.


Relax you are doing a fine job. Lucky my DS1 doesn't go to CC, I'd hate to hear what they would say about him. Unless there is an obvious MASSIVE developmental delay, I really wouldn't worry at that age. the milestones they are messuring against are 'averages', it will all even out in the wash. If she is still having the same difficulties at four, then maybe you should investigate it a little more - but honestly I wouldn't even stress. It is hard to tell at such a young age if a kid isn't doing something because they cann't, or if it is because they just don't care enough about it to try.

[Trillian]

I posted really quickly before I had to go out but I also wanted to say that NONE of this is your fault, you go above and beyond what so many others do with their kids and surely her life (and yours) is the richer for it I really think that often CC are too quick to look for faults in kids when often there are none, or the issues on their own are insignificant in the big scheme of things. And the way you are supposed to read a book to them? FFS that is overkill, she is only just 3 really and what they are asking you to do with her when you read is something I would expect to do with a much older child. Its great that they are observing her, but clearly they aren't seeing the whole picture with her and taking into account the areas where she is excelling. I do still think you should see a speechie, but that is me talking in hindsight having been in your position with my own DD and wishing that maybe I had of been more insistent about having the preschool teacher do a proper referral instead of choosing to keep and eye on things. It wouldn't make a difference overall, but we just would have had her at the point she is now a lot sooner.

[mrsmac]

I have taught kindergarten children (in formal schooling so aged 5) who don't know ANY colours and cannot count at all so i wouldn't be concerned at all about that. My DS couldn't count at just turned 3 and I couldn't care less, I think there is too much pressure on kids these days to do things way before they need to.

Speech therapy can be very useful and can make a big difference especially if you get in early like you are doing.

Huge hugs, I think you are a great mum- heck you do more with her than I do with my kids LOL

[sangie]

Couldn't not reply either Dan!
I'm sorry that the cc staff made you feel like crap hun. It sounds like they definitely could have handled it better. You are by far no failure and you know I think you are doing an amazing job with your kids!

Here's an idea - my DD gives your DD some of her language skills and your DD gives mine some of her motor skills lol! As you know my DD never stops talking (the kind of kid you can talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles!) but she doesn't really climb (she can do it but not confidently), can't pedal a bike yet or somersault. They are all so different and develop at their own pace. Try not to stress about it and keep doing what you are doing!

[Liviam]

Thank you all so much for your replies and suggestions on where to from here . It's all greatly appreciated as I just didn't know what to do next. I have managed to get an appt with my health nurse in the morning where I'm going to get her to assess DD and get a referral for a speechie to rule out any reasons why her speech is slow.
I'm not angry at the staff at all for bringing it to our attention but more in the manner they did it. I'm just a bit confused as to why she just can't be a kid and they are so concerned already. I didn't talk until I went to school and I'm ok now so I was thinking she'd just be like me. I just to have fun and play with her before I'm too embarrassing or uncool to play with, LOL!!
Thank you all so much for your reassurances and support. I'm hoping to have some more information after our health nurse visit tomorrow. I'll let you all know how it goes.

[skybie]

you've basically just described my dd who's almost four.
her speech when she turned 3 was shocking but in the space of a year has improved dramatically, all on her own.
she can count to ten but only when she chooses but struggles with, how many apples are there? IYKWIM
she also doesnt really know colours or her abc's.
we read to her every night and let her point things out ect, but she goes though phases of only wanting to read one book.
my CC hasnt said anything about her to me and to be honest im not all that worried, kids develop differently .

[Lulu]

This place ROCKS! Terrific support and great advice from everyone

The only thing I wanted to add was that ONE person/opinion/whatever isn't the be all and end all -but you know that. It's just the amount of different things I have been told over the years with my little dude and so much of it was wrong/over analysed...

My gut was always right though and I know your is.

My DS refuses to write and won't pick up a pencil (oooh - bad!!) even though he is six. I don't mind too much, he knows how to wire a lightbulb, how hydraulics work, can pick various instruments out of an orchestra and is starting to pick up phrases in French. So pfft to the world.

[ladybird11]

Argh, I just did a big post and lost it.

A stranger left a book called Reading Magic by Mem Fox on my desk 18mths ago. I am grateful to that stranger. DD's reading / recognition skils are now amazing. In one month she could point and say the names of 11 different animals on the last page of the 'Brown Bear Brown Bear What do you See?' book - whereas previously she didn't say or be able to recognise any.

I have always been concerned due to her prem factor that she was 'behind' (behind what or who I don't know lol).....So I took on Mem's advice, one familiar, one unfamilar and one favourite book - I (or DH) read each and every day.

FWIW - you are doing a great job Mumma!

[onthefly]

That's great Liviam - your nurse sounds like a good 'un.
I was recently shocked at what I heard is apparently expected of pre-primary kids these days - counting, alphabet, etc...!!!
I'm with you - let's let them be kids! If you talk with them, interact, read (all those thigns you do naturally) then you're doing your job.

[SammyRo]

If you talk with them, interact, read (all those thigns you do naturally) then you're doing your job.

I totally agree! It sounds like you are doing an amazing job in helping your DD develop into a confident child by giving her time and affection when she needs it, and just being with her!

In regards to what is expected of pre-schoolers, I sometimes wonder if some mums get a tad too competitive and this is driving force (can't believe cc are giving reports)! I know a few who like to boast at what their child is up to constantly whereas I rarely mention something (unless I'm really proud of her!). One mum, the first thing she says when I see/talk to her is "oh X is doing this now, is A?" She even compared how much bigger her son was than DS, forgetting that he's 4months older!

So much of their learning is incidental at this age - it shouldn't be a formal thing, plenty of time for that later. Its great that you are getting that referral but def don't stress about it. Maybe just keep an eye on it for now, and if she's still having problems when she starts school, then act on it (its so much better and quicker to deal with it in year 1/2, rather than as they get older) but otherwise, keep doing what you're doing.

[AliBaby]

I have only just seen this but all of the posts above are very helpful.

I think it is wise to follow up by booking her into se a speech therapist but only for your peace of mind. It wont hurt her and then if she needs help you can get it, but if not, you can bereassured that she is fine.

I am a primary school teacher. In all fairness I have never taught preschool but did teach kindy for 3 years. I second MrsMac that quite a few children do come to school not knowing the things CC mentioned to you. In kindy, they learn about the colours, counting, numbers, shapes, size, measurement. All of those things are outcomes for the END of their first year of formal school kindergarten (5 and 6yr olds). So she has plenty of time to learn them.

I also recently got DD's report from CC. I actually found it really weird that they would be giving a 15mth old a report but can see that the concept of it is to inform parents of different things their child is achieiving or they are working with them to achieve. I thnk some of it is to cover their backs TBH so that if a parent were to come back and say my child has a speech problem or something else, they can say well we informed you IYKWIM. We do the same thing at primary school. Some things in the report I thought were ridiculous. If I wasnt so chilled out about DD's development I probably would have gone into a massive panic as I can imagine many parents would instead I jsut had to read between the lines so to speak.

An example of one of DD's (16mths) current goals for gross motor is to refine her balance skills eg. walk unassisted on a balance beam WTF! I know she can balance but they aim high at CC dont they!

Another for cognitive & thinking skills was to complete a 6 piece knob puzzle! I'd be lucky if she didnt eat the pieces (as everything is still going int he mouth) and if she doesnt eat the puzzle, then my dogs probably would (they like chewing up her toys).

They were the main ones that stood out, but reading between the lines, I see they are just aiming high and Ido like that they expose her to all this stuff but also know that she willd evelop it all in her own time. You are so right that they are still so young and should have the opportunity to be little.

My last bit of advice is to just keep playing with her. So much is learnt throguh play.

You are doing a great job

ETA- Missed the last page of updates. Awesome MCHN!!! Glad you are feeling so much better