Hi Babysocks

Can't comment on what it's like having two close together as I'm in a similar position to you with a 4-month-old and contemplating having a second. But I need to decide very quickly as I'm 38.

Just wanted to say something about the back/pelvic pain as I too experienced that and it's my major concern about having two close together in terms of how I will physically be able to manage. From week 28 of my pregnancy until last week I was in pain which made walking, standing and bending difficult so of course, this made caring for a baby difficult.

Anyhow, what I'm getting around to saying is that you may have what's known as an unstable pelvis which is caused by the release of the hormone relaxin. There's a sticky here on BellyBelly about SPD so have a look for that. It's called lots of different things so sometimes is misdiagnosed as normal aches and pains of pregnancy.

The bad news is that you will most likely get it again the second time around. The good news is that it can be managed with physio. I have just done 4 clinical pilates sessions in the last three weeks and the difference has been amazing. I have been super paranoid about pregnancy no. 2 (especially as my age doesn't allow me much time to allow my body to recover) but after talking with my physio, she said that if I carry on doing the pilates between now and the next pregnancy there is every chance that it won't be as painful second time around because I'm strengthening my muscles now.

As for the weight gain, I really don't think there's any great mystery. I was overweight when I got pregnant (74.5kg and I'm 165cm) mainly because my portions were way too big and I was a big drinker. Of course, the booze went while I was pregnant and I only put on 6kg in total. Now I'm 70kg so less than when I got pregnant and I haven't been able to exercise at all yet because of the pelvic stuff. So, I think if we're carrying too much weight we just need to get real and look at why. For most of us it's because we eat too much and/or the wrong stuff. If we eat less and eat more healthily, we lose weight.