wanting #2!

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

I was just wondering how many of you had your babies reeaally close together?

My daughter is almost 4 months and we're already talking about having another one! This won't happen for another few months anyway (he's out of state right now and i'll be moving there ASAP - which won't be for a while yet methinks), if we decide to do it. We both really like the idea, but I have a few concerns.

I had a lot of back and pelvic pain in this pregnancy, how does a womans body usually cope with a 2nd? Should we wait at least a year so that the hormonal stuff goes back to normal?

How does a little one feel about having a baby in the house? I don't want to her to miss out on anything, get less attention and such.

How difficult is it to get them to sleep at the same times and such? Is it as much more work as I imagine it is?

Is it possible that the desire for number 2 so early on is caused by hormonal changes? I hated being pregnant, mostly because I was in a lot of pain, but now I miss it!

This is a silly one, but I was already overweight before my first pregnancy and now I'm about a dress size bigger than I was then. In all fairness, everyone kept telling me I was "all baby" and not putting on fat per se, and because of my pain, I couldn't exercise, so that contributed in a big way. If I eat more sensibly and cut out the choccie, will I still be much bigger than I am now at the end of the 2nd preg?

Thanks
<333

[Liviam]

This is a great thread. We are also talking about when to TTC #2 so i'll be interested in what some ladies have to say.

[Patooties]

Hi baby socks, there is a 17 month age gap between my 2 older girls, so i'll let you know my experiences.

How does a little one feel about having a baby in the house? I don't want to her to miss out on anything, get less attention and such.
My eldest, Jess, didn't seem to mind too much having the new baby at home. There were some jealousy issues at the start - which were usually evident when i was feeding Zoe. I just made sure that I was feeding somewhere where Jess could play, or i could give her cuddles at the same time. You just have to make sure that you schedule in some time just for your daughter.
How difficult is it to get them to sleep at the same times and such? Is it as much more work as I imagine it is?
I don't recall sleep time being a difficult time - but i guess it depends on what your sleep time routine is. If you need to rock them both to sleep , and they need to sleep at the same time then you may have some issues. I can recall giving Jess a couple of books, getting Zoe to sleep and then laying on the bed with Jess. You'll just work out something that keeps everyone happy when the time comes. You'd be amazed at how things just fall into place
Is it possible that the desire for number 2 so early on is caused by hormonal changes? I hated being pregnant, mostly because I was in a lot of pain, but now I miss it!
I'm not too sure about this one - but i know that i didn't have a strong desire to be pregnant with number two so early - so maybe it isn't hormonal. My dh really wanted a small age gap which is why we started trying so soon. .
Good luck

[Hoody]

My girls are 20 months so i concieved just b4 DD1's 1st birthday. We have not had any major issues yet.
How does a little one feel about having a baby in the house? I don't want to her to miss out on anything, get less attention and such.
We have a bit of a jealousy issue going on at the moment but its mainly at feed time. I find that DD1 does not want me so much but the babies attn if that makes sense. If any body holds DD2 then DD1 demands to hold her. I jsut let her and after 30 secs or so she will let me or whoever take her and do what it is we need to do. Its like she thinks she is missing out. DD2 is only 6 wks old and DD1 does love her though if we get in the car and i havent put DD2 in she cries for her "baby'.
How difficult is it to get them to sleep at the same times and such? Is it as much more work as I imagine it is?
NB's sleep so much that at the moment sleeps arent an issue for us. DD1 still sleeps for 2 hrs at lunch so i still get some space. With regards to work load it can feel huge but the key for me is to be organised. Ben at home isnt really any harder i find things like going to the shops almost impossible though now but that is because DD1 will now play up where as b4 she wouldnt. (i think it is jsut the age though)
Is it possible that the desire for number 2 so early on is caused by hormonal changes?
Not sure but i did start to want no2 when DD1 was about that age but Dh wouldnt agree then at about 8 months he agreed.

All in all it is hard work and tiring but at the same time well worth it. I will say i did find been pg with a toddler very hard as i had a very uncomfortable pregnancy with lots of back probs etc. In my case i am finding it easier with having 2 than i did with 1 and been pg. But keep in mind all pgs are diff. I went up a dress size after DD1 but this time around i am ony 6 kg heavier than when i fell pg so not too much weight gain as i am tall.

[tracey*]

DH has been dropping hints already, lol. Jasper's not even 2 months old yet!
I definately could do it again - but it's just a matter of finances really (just bought a bigger house recently - so bigger mortgage). I'd love to have them close in age, my sister and I are 18 months apart and it's been the best thing

[Meluchja]

My two are 13 months apart. I love them being so close. We have our moments sometimes but I know this will happen with any age gap.

Definately sometimes I worry that either child is missing out on attention. But I do the best I can. I think in some ways it's easier. Because they are sort of into the same things. So I don't have one that is into doing baby things and the other into doing older things IYKWIM. So most times they are both happy fo rme to play on the floor with them, or dance to high 5, which seems to be the fav. at the moment.

Regarding the sleep thing, not a problem at all. Well maybe because my DS is a great baby. He will pretty much any where when he is tired.

Hormones maybe, but I wish I could be pregnant all the time and have as many babies possible. But like you said, it comes down the $ for us. So the two it will be. We still want to travel a far bit, so two close together works well for us with this as well.

So in all, if your up to it, go for it. It's wonderful and busy most times but so rewarding. Good luck.

[fionas]

Hi Babysocks

Can't comment on what it's like having two close together as I'm in a similar position to you with a 4-month-old and contemplating having a second. But I need to decide very quickly as I'm 38.

Just wanted to say something about the back/pelvic pain as I too experienced that and it's my major concern about having two close together in terms of how I will physically be able to manage. From week 28 of my pregnancy until last week I was in pain which made walking, standing and bending difficult so of course, this made caring for a baby difficult.

Anyhow, what I'm getting around to saying is that you may have what's known as an unstable pelvis which is caused by the release of the hormone relaxin. There's a sticky here on BellyBelly about SPD so have a look for that. It's called lots of different things so sometimes is misdiagnosed as normal aches and pains of pregnancy.

The bad news is that you will most likely get it again the second time around. The good news is that it can be managed with physio. I have just done 4 clinical pilates sessions in the last three weeks and the difference has been amazing. I have been super paranoid about pregnancy no. 2 (especially as my age doesn't allow me much time to allow my body to recover) but after talking with my physio, she said that if I carry on doing the pilates between now and the next pregnancy there is every chance that it won't be as painful second time around because I'm strengthening my muscles now.

As for the weight gain, I really don't think there's any great mystery. I was overweight when I got pregnant (74.5kg and I'm 165cm) mainly because my portions were way too big and I was a big drinker. Of course, the booze went while I was pregnant and I only put on 6kg in total. Now I'm 70kg so less than when I got pregnant and I haven't been able to exercise at all yet because of the pelvic stuff. So, I think if we're carrying too much weight we just need to get real and look at why. For most of us it's because we eat too much and/or the wrong stuff. If we eat less and eat more healthily, we lose weight.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

ooh another bub would be so lovely! I even mentioned it to my mum and she wasn't opposed to the idea lawl. There are benefits and drawbacks to whatever you do I suppose.

It's so good to hear that the pelvic and back problems can be prevented to a degree. I started seeing a physio when i was in my 3rd trimester, but I only went to two appointments - after that, I was in so much pain I couldn't get to the hospital (which was across the road from my flat). Man, it was agony. I used to crawl around on the floor on my hands and knees because I just couldn't walk. I'd cry as I walked up the steps to my flat, I was in so much pain. Horrid!

I think if I don't eat so much choccie in the second one, I should be okay. Heck, perhaps I'll lose weight since I'll be looking after a bub already. If I can prevent the back and pelvic pain, there'll be no reason I can't exercise either! Rock on.

zomggg more babies eeek!

[fionas]

Hi Babysocks

I know what you're saying about it being too hard to get to appointments but it's really worth the effort. I've vowed to myself that I will keep going once a week now and will continue that during my next (fingers crossed) pregnancy. Just because my pain has now all but gone, it doesn't mean that it won't come back and I want to do EVERYTHING I possibly can to avoid the horror of last time. It was really difficult to find the energy to get to physio after I had my baby (plus I don't drive) so next time I'm just going to hang the expense and hire a babysitter for a morning when I need to go. I've learnt the hard way that you just have to put your health as the top priority (along with the baby's health of course) and that the money is really secondary. Mummy in pain makes very grumpy mummy!

Do go and see a physio and ask about clinical pilates. Prevention is better than cure!

[LuluHB]

My DD was 3 months old when I felt pregnant with #2. Don't know what its like having two yet, but I am finding pregnancy with a small baby quite difficult. I'm 5 months now and am finding it difficult in that DD is getting heavier (I think by the day!) and so I am really struggling with back and pelvic pain trying to hold her and support an increasingly large belly, whereas I didn't have any problems when pregnant with DD. Also geting up stairs to DD's room with her in my arms is tough, getting up off the floor with her etc. I hope its all going to be worth it though when I have two little girls so close together in age, and hopefully they will have a really close relationship.