We have a 3yr gap and it was great. DS was old enough to really understand when I needed to look after DD and entertain himself for brief periods (which was lucky since she had bad reflux and hardly slept!). He was at preschool so I could nap some days, and he's such a loving big brother. They are still close enough to play together and they are good mates and have a lot of fun.
I would want the same or more if we had another one. It's worked well for us. Also I get very sick when I'm pregnant so I'd not consider it again until DD is at preschool and a lot more independent.
Glad to hear some opposing views. And to hear from those who've had DS's first. I wonder if that makes a difference...
Loulabelle - DS is clingy, doesn't play well by himself, follows me everywhere (including from the bed to the wardrobe when I'm hanging clothes up) and can be quite demanding. I worry about adding to that mix!
Kiwimummy - The preschool thing is a huge pro for having a bigger gap for me too! I want to be able to have some 1 on 1 time with a new bub.
Almost 3yr gap here. I am happy with it, but then again I know no better. You just make it work the best you can. I had planned for them to be closer, more like 2 1/2 yrs, but it did not work out that way and to be honest it was probably for the best. Physically, mentally and financially it was better for us to have that age gap. If anything looking back at it, I rather like the concept of a 4 1/2 yr gap.
DD1 was fully day toilet trained, so only had to worry about 1 in nappies during the day. She was a bit more independent and able to "help" mummy. Just like any kids they can get on so well one minute and fight the next.
I would just be cautious over setting an ideal gap, how would you deal with it if it did not happen? Would you spend your years going "of if only the gap was ... instead of ....1"
that things work out for you soon.
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