Why wont he stay asleep.

[*Ali*]

I am not sure if it is just a phase we are going through or something I am doing wrong but we are having a really really rough time getting DS down to sleep in the day. He is fussing at every feed, taking ages to get to sleep and then waking up 5-10 mins later wanting another feed. I am so fed up with having my bb out al day feeding him that I am about ready to give up (please no lectures), i know there is nothing wrong with my supply so thats not the problem.
Today for example he has probably had 2 hours sleep at most in 4 burst of 30 mins or less and has finally fallen asleep in the sling.
I just dont know what to do, I cant carry him around in the sling all day as I have a 19 month old who needs me as well. When we rock him off to sleep and put him in his bassinette he is awake shortly after. If we put him down awake he just lays there staring up at you.

Anyone got any ideas of what I can try, I know that he is overtired by the time he is late for his first nap and the rest of the day goes down the toilet.

[~Trish~]

Hi Ali, sorry you are having a tough time right now . Getting babies to sleep in the day is so hard sometimes! How long are you keeping your DS awake for before you try and put him down for a nap? A bub of your DS's age can usually only handle around 45 minutes of wake time (this includes feed time). If they get overtired it is much harder to get them to sleep and then stay asleep. Keep an eye on the time and watch for his tired signs (grizzling, jerky movements, lack of eye contact, etc...) and then put him to bed.

Do you wrap him? I find this is a great way to keep my DS asleep. I also use a dummy. These become his sleep cues.

Just to throw another theory into the mix, sometimes feeding too frequently can cause tummy pain, wind or reflux (not always, but just want to mention it!) so it may be worth trying to space his feeds out a little more.

Babies are such complex creatures, it takes a while to work them out! Anyway, you sound like you are doing a marvelous job and are working hard to make your little one happy. Best of luck

[mickyndan]

Hugs to you Ali... I have a 4.5 month old and he is so much harder to get to sleep during the day but he sleeps through all night (usually 12-13 hours) so I am not extremely worried about his days sleeps. I always make sure that I put him in his cot awake, I always make sure that I have winded him as best as I can before I actually put him down. My bub still feeds every 2-2.5 hours and I also have a 2.5yr old that demands my attention which can become quite stressful at times. I do understand that cyring and unsettledness peaks at about 6 weeks old as well so this might just be a phase.

I totally understand what you are going through but it does pass... What sort of nights are you having.. Is bub sleeping through, how long does he go at night without a feed? Do you have sleep cues at night that you could also establish during the day.

Today my bub would not go down for a sleep, I knew he was tired so I let him cry for a little while in his cot... he ended up falling asleep by himself... It took him about 5 minutes, I went in 3 times to make sure he was okay and to let him know that I was still there... I didn't pick him up, just reassured him.

You are not alone, sounds like you are doing a great job... I am sure your 19month old has turned out great just like your new bub will with whatever you decide to do. Good Luck xxoo

[Willow]

Ali - Trish has pretty much said everything I would have said!

My DS was very unsettled when we first brought him home too, it took him a few weeks to settle down and sleeping is still a work in progress - most days I feel like he's definitely getting there, but we still have our bad days (and some VERY bad days! LOL). You're doing a great job, just hang in there!

[mbear]

Ali - it was like re-living my life when reading your post. I too had a 19 month old and a newborn.....and i remember the 6-8 week mark...there were lots of tears in this house !!!.
I guess the sleep cues are a biggie....we still wrap Sam and she is 4.5 months.
She isnt a big day sleeper.....i remember at 8 weeks some days she would have a 45 min sleep ALL DAY...i was beside myself.
I tried everthing...even putting the radio on whilst she was in the bassinet trying to get to sleep...pottering around the bedroom singing hoping she would drift off to sleep. Not much worked.
Like mickydan i would leave her, if she cried, i would pat, cuddle, walk out...it took a while but eventually she would go to sleep...
good luck....

[Rachel]

Oh dear....i feel for you. My DD was a shocker when it came to day sleeps (she'd sleep well if we were holding her but not if we put her down). Trying to think what we did....

We used to wrap DD at night but she didn't like it in the day so we put her into a sleeping bag in the day and that helped.

When she woke after 30 mins, I used to go to her, turn her onto her side and tap her to sleep..sometimes it took a long time, but once I got her back to sleep she would sleep for ages after this.

My DD hated sleeping in her room during the day (no problem at night but not in the day), so we used to let her sleep in her rocker in the loungeroom (until she started to roll), as long as she slept i didn't care where! Although I realise that this could be difficult with a 19month old.

Good luck, hopefully he learns to sleep in the day, for him and for you!

[morgan78]

i am hearing you - i have just had 2 days like that & i have the stroppy 2yr who decided on the weekend he wants to start TT - i wish i could split into 2 actually 3 so at least one of me is sleeping lol.
All i can suggest is whenever possible let bubs sleep on you 5-10 mins is better than nothing and you can still interact with DD reading stories or bouncing with them when u r trying to settle bubs. And if you have to put him down & let him cry go for it - like everyone says we need our rest as well.
Good luck i hope you have a better day tomorrow

[*Ali*]

Thanks for the replies guys, I have had a good nights sleep and regrouped so hoping today is a better day. I am also wondering whether we have some attachment probs with feeding which is causing wind and him not getting a decent feed, so he is hungry etc. I will ring my MCHN today and get some advice from her as she is also LC. I am glad I am not the only one going through this, and big hugs to everyone else having a tough time at the moment.

[Michelle71]

Ali - my little man only figured out how to sleep (day sleeps more than 45 min and night sleeps more than 1-2 hours) when he was 6 months old I hope your little person learns quicker than mine but you are not alone and I am pleased to hear last nights sleep was better. I just managed life by wearing him. He would either go to sleep or at least I could do the things I needed to do. The 6-8 week mark can be pure hell. I hope the MCHN helps. Good luck

[Lewis's Mummy]

I know what you're going through too. My DS is now 8 weeks and has just started sleeping well during the day again. I know routines are somewhat out of fashion these days, but I've had to get one going , albeit a loose one, for my own sanity. As to having bb out all day, that happened to me when I first had him at a so called 'baby friendly' hospital where anything other than bf was strongly discouraged and dummies etc too, but in desperation as my bbs were so sore, skin raw and nips bleeding I chatted (read cried buckets and blubbered it all out) to the wonderful midwife who'd been at the delivery and she suggested trying to get him into a more structured feeding routine - instead of all the time, we went to 3 1/2-4 hourly, and within a couple of days being home that helped him settle and me feel more human than cow again. At 6 weeks that went out the window and I had to pace, feed more often etc, but it seems to have passed and our little routine is back. The other thing we noticed at about 6 weeks was that he'd started wriggling around more in his bassinette and was knocking the sides with either his feet or arms despite being firmly wrapped. We've just moved him into his own room in his cot and he wakes himself up a lot less frequently, possibly because he has more space and doesn't run into the sides. Sorry I can't help more than that... Hope it passes for you soon.

[mazzie]

Tia was the same, now I have got a kind of routine with her. She is 3 1/2 months old, and I do as suggested above, feed and burp her and make sure she is comfy and warm and then I leave her. She mainly just yells and then drifts off to sleep. If she starts screaming then I go in and pick her up and calm her until she's quiet and then I put her straight back down again and start over. It took me at least 5 times of going back in at the start, but now she goes down to sleep after a minute or two. If she is overtired it takes longer.
I find that if I don't start putting her down 1 hour after she has been awake it is harder, so I would try after 45 mins of awake time for your bub. I was never good at reading the tired signs so watching the clock works for me.
She only has about 45 mins sleep because I can't get her back to sleep after her sleep cycle but she has 4 naps of 45min so that works for me.
Good Luck

[Twin Sister]

I have days like that too where the BBs are out all the time and I too feel like a cow.

I find if Ds falls asleep on me and I try to put him down in a cold crib he wakes up within a few minutes but if I warm his bed up with heating pad first and then remove the pad and tuck him into the nice warmed blankets, he'll sleep for hours.