DS Fights sleep...Ideas????

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 04:16 PM

I know I'm fairly fortunate when it comes to DS's sleeping. Once he is asleep he sleeps very well and re-settles etc.

It is getting him to sleep that is the constant battle. He fights it. He arches his back, screams, squirms, kicks his legs and claws at my chest.

I am very careful to watch for his tired signs. I have tried putting him to sleep early, as in only awake for 45 mins, I have tried leaving it as long as possible and putting him to sleep when he is dog tired. I have tried rocking, pacing, swaddling, singing, putting him in his cot, going for a walk, nothing works. It sounds weird but It is almost like he needs to struggle before sleeping soundly IYKWIM.

Night times sleeps aren't that bad, it is the day sleeps that are the shockers. I feel like I am almost restraining him and it is terrible.

He is in his cot at the moment having a conversation with himself but he won't self settle, I reckon I have about 5 mins before it ramps up. I'm not going to control cry but if there are any inventive ideas to get my little person to sleep easier I would be so grateful.

Spring xx

ETA: I've tried feeding to sleep also and that doesn't work.

**MamaPan** · February 2nd, 2008, 04:24 PM

hey there
my ds is similar - v v rare for him to have a sleep in the day time and if he does it is 45 mins or so max...
he is great at night so i have pretty much given up on the days and i amliving with it - he is happy, sleeps well at night and thriving so maybe it is just how he is...
not much help i know but just so you know you are not alone!

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 04:27 PM

Thanks pregpan. Sounds like our boys must be pals. The confusing thing is once I manage to get him to sleep he will sleep up to 11/2 hours during the day. It's got me stumped

**rosehannah** · February 2nd, 2008, 04:32 PM

You sound like you have given lots of things a try, he sounds a bit like my son at 4mths. It does feel like they need to cry before the go to sleep. My son used to like to cuddle something that smelt of me. I used to give him my night shirt to cuddle then take it away once he was asleep because I used to worry about leaving it in his cot. Sorry I don't have a magic answer for you, best wishes.

PS. That is a gorgeous pic. of him.

**Willow** · February 2nd, 2008, 04:47 PM

Hey Spring, it sounds like he's just not sure how to wind down to go to sleep? Day times are hard (that's our prob too) because it's not as easy to do things like baths, massage etc to help relax the little ones off to sleep.

Has he always done this or is it a recent thing?

I don't have much advice because our problem is the opposite, he goes to sleep beautifully but has trouble staying asleep for extended periods and re-settling himself - it's a work in progress!

I know not everyone is a fan, but I always find when i call the Tresillian parents help line they always give great advice and suggest things I might not have thought of. Maybe give them a call? They will not encourage you to do controlled crying, so you don't have to worry about that. Can't hurt?

**Janie** · February 2nd, 2008, 04:49 PM

Spring, I have one of these kids as well. It has taken me 9 months and 3 days (check out my ticker) for me to come to terms with the fact that he is always going to cry (read: scream!) to sleep. No matter what I do, how nice I try to make it, he always fights it.

I'm sorry I don't have any real suggestions for you hun, just real sympathy

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 04:55 PM

Thanks ladies, it is reassuring to know I'm not alone in this.

Janie: Thanks for the sympathy, it is hard isn't it? How lond does your boy take to settle?

Willow: He has always been like this to a certain extent, but now that he is getting bigger it is getting much harder to wrangle a 5 month old. I hate to think what he will be like in a few months

I might give Tresillian a call, thanks for the suggestion.

Dh is of the opinion that as long as we are holding him, we should let him do his thing until he calms down. It doesn't seem to make a difference if I sing, rock etc, so DH tends to sit down with him until he gets it all out and (eventually) nods off. I can't do that all day every day, it upsets me more than DS I think.

Well the quest continues

Spring

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 04:57 PM

Rosehannah: Thanks, he is a cutie, you wouldn't guess the sleeping monstor that lies within him whahahaha..

tracey* · February 2nd, 2008, 04:58 PM

Jasper is going through this at the moment - he'd been sleeping totally fine for over a month but this week seems to fight sleep at night (doesn't like to sleep during the day, which is OK with us as that's just how it is).
It'll take anywhere from 50 mins to 4 hours to get him down for the night, we think that he's overtired and gets cranky that he's still not asleep yet. We'll rock him to sleep but he wakes up 5 minutes later crying his little eyes out

Eventually he does go down and sleeps through to 7-8am, so maybe it's a growth spurt thing? Tonight we're going to try and really relax him 1-2 hours before 'bed time' with a warm bath and some massage, and watch his tired signs before we put him down.

I hear ya on the "can't do it all day" thing - especially when they're kicking and arching away like CRAZY

**Ozstar** · February 2nd, 2008, 05:12 PM

My DS is exactly the same. He is even worse if DH is the one trying to settle him. He is getting much better though so perhaps it is something they grow out of?? I am watching for his tired signs and then sit down on the couch relaxed and prepared for the battle. Sorry I dont have any real advice, sounds like you have tried everything. Like I said my DS is getting much better now, I hope that your does too.

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 05:27 PM

It just so freaking frustrating. He is a gorgeous happy little man and then the minute I start the bed-time routine he cracks it.

Do you think I should drop a day time sleep, even if he is giving me tired signs? We usually do feed, play sleep 3 hourly during the day.

Spring

**melham74** · February 2nd, 2008, 05:46 PM

I have the same problen with my DS aswell and he is 10mnths but has only started doing this in the last month

**LadyRaven** · February 2nd, 2008, 05:49 PM

Exactly the same here! The happiest lil monkey till it's time for sleeps and then the screams! I put him down, play a lil music box that lights up and walk away for 5-10minutes, he's usually asleep in 6 minutes if I stay there he fights harder to stay awake to look at me and it can take upto 30minutes for him to sleep so I've resigned myself to the fact although it makes me feel like carp it's better for him to just let him have his tantrum and go to sleep or we both end up a lot more upset and drained frm it

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 05:50 PM

Melham74: Perhaps it is a developmental thing. Seems like bubs do it at different ages.

I guess it is just really getting to me at the moment. Dh is working from 1.00pm to 11.00pm and doesn't get home until after 12.00midnight so I am dealing with it all day and all night.

I guess I'll just keeping going with the flow and hopefully he will grow out of it otherwise I'm going to have biceps like Pop-eye

Spring.

**Spring Angel** · February 2nd, 2008, 05:52 PM

Wow Celtic, it seems like there are plenty of us going through this.

I was thinking of getting one of those mobiles for the cot that lights up so as to distract him while he cracks it. You are right, he seems more distressed in my arms which gets me down but I am willing to try anything.

**~Trish~** · February 2nd, 2008, 05:58 PM

Aww Spring

. It's horrible isn't it? I really wish I knew why babies fight sleep when they clearly need it so much. It may just be developmental, please know that he WILL grow out of it eventually. I know how draining it can be though. I really think sometimes babies need to let off some steam before they can go to sleep. I'm not a fan of controlled crying either, but even if you just let him cry for 1-2 minutes then come back in to soothe him? I'm sure you've probably tried this already seeing as you seem to have tried everything!

I just spent 45 minutes getting my overtired DS to sleep so I am feeling your pain right now! I think Willow's suggestion of calling the helpline is great. Let us know what they suggest lol!

Sending lots of hugs you way!

**mrscricket** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:06 PM

Spring - we had the same problem with DS. I brought him a mobile thinking it would give him something to look at while he drifted off to sleep - all it did for him was make him think it was play time so i had to take it away. I ended up getting a music box that plays a light show on the ceiling for 5 or 10 minutes and its worked really well. He associates the tune it plays with going to bed - a bit like his nighttime bath routine - and its good if we go away because we can take it and he seems to settle well. Otherwise have you thought of maybe giving him a blankie to snuggle with?
DS goes down pretty well now and sleeps for 1and a half to 2 and a half hours each sleep during the day now(that being said we have hit some kind of nightmare 6 month mark where he wakes up during the night and wants to play when previously he was sleeping through. Bit of a shock to the system!) Good luck with it all

**Snacks** · February 2nd, 2008, 06:12 PM

Hey Spring. I've soooo been there, and still am at times.
I remember at around 3.5 - 4 months DD decided that she just wouldn't settle in my arms. So I started to settle her in the cot. She still cried and took a while to settle, but she didn't 'wrestle' with me as much - she stayed still on her side and seemed to be vaguely soothed by the regular rhythm of the patting. This was a good compromise for us, as when she was that little I wasn't keen on letting her cry on her own.
I realise some babies just *hate* being patted and they wriggle and squirm and get quite cross (my own DD went through a phase of this too, closer to 7 months), so if you're little one is in that category then this wont be helpful at all. But, I just thought I'd share and let you know that I hope things get better for you guys really soon.