I don't have any advice but didn't want to read your post and not reply It all sounds very stressful. I would speak to the hospital and make it clear that you do not want him at the birth. In fact why does he even have to know that you've gone into labour? We didn't tell anyone until after ds was born and we were ready to contact people. Even then we didn't have any visitors in the hospital or for the 1st week of ds's life. I think MIL was planing to visit us in hospital but we asked her and everyone else not to n the hospital were happy to tell visitors that they would have to call us and arrange a visiting time as they weren't allowed through.