Great thread Rory - I feel sick tonight so I can't give this my best.

However, I gave birth to my Motherhood when I birthed my first baby and my birth did set me up for my experience with her which was abysmal in many respects!
However, the strength and fortitude that I found in myself to birth her also set me up for what i needed to be her mother. I reflect on her birth and know that I really drew on my resources to birth her and I needed to do that to mother her.

With DS - well his birth showed me what my body could do in Peace surrounded by Love and a controlled environment of silence and darkness. He taught me to gather my instincts and listen to them - they will never fail me - that's what birthing him taught me.

DD6 taught me that my body Knows" what to do and that there is no by the book labour. Parenting her wasnt by the book either. She taught me that babies make their own rules!

DD5 taught me that I alone birthed - not my support but me. That me listening to my body and joining with the flow of my body, listening to the Wise Women that surround all birth would help me through. And they did. She taught me that I could trust myself, my decisions and my feelings. Thankyou Eva...

My angel babies my DD1 angel taught me that I could survive the death of my precious child. That the sun would still shine and the people in the street sipping coffee had no clues. No idea and that the orld would still go on... So I could go on - through torturous pain I could go on...

DS angel - He taught me that even in death I could feel joy - I cried through his labour, I laughed, I pushed and I felt triumph at the birth - for a moment. He taught me even in death there is joy.

DD angel - she gave me the strength to continue. She whispered to me that there would be a baby to hold warm in my arms. I parented differently from then on. I had a Faith that sometimes was shaken but it was part of me...

Imogen - when she was born I felt like God or the Goddess had spoken - had personally delivered her. I felt this incredible surge of strength for her angel siblings were in the room that day with the Wise Women of birth. I have no doubt. I could almost see tjem - but definitely I could feel them. Her birth confirmed that miracles happen. They happen and they are real. She taught me about thankfulness, gratitude and Grace. I drank in every second of her life with gratitude - as I never knew if she would stay - at least not for a while. That drinking in of her hasn't finished or changed. I hang on her every action, milestone and mannerisim. For in having her I lost so much - but gained her amazing Being.

I believe with each child we birth we change. There is a lesson, a quality that we are given. For me each birth formed my parenting experience.