I'll let you know when I give birth and become a mother!

I think if I had have given birth to DS, I would probably be a worse mother at first. I spent so long looking after DS on autopilot feeling nothing, just sticking to the parenting "ideal" I'd set up that I know I'd not have stuck to it otherwise - just looking at my friends drop their ideals and knowing that was OK because they were the Mama convinced me of that! And now those ideals are in part second nature.

I'd no way have been calm and patient after two hours sleep in about five days - I only was because I was expecting DS's mother to turn up soon and take him back. I'd not cuddle him as he screamed because "well, he's just screaming anyway". I'd not have learnt his favourite songs, or been excited to buy him his first Wiggles DVD after hearing about them here (I know, more fool me LOL), or calmly made him toast when he refused to eat the meal I spent two hours making that he won't even try. He wouldn't be able to name composers when I play songs on the piano - nor would he be able to play along. He wouldn't be anywhere near as emotionally aware nor would we spend hours just looking at each other and laughing. He'd just be my child and there tomorrow: I've gotten over the thought that his mum's going to arrive and take him off with her (I'd fight her if she did now - especially now he's sleeping at night!) but I still love watching Liebs grow, change, learn... and I love playing with him.

But I now do naughty things, especially when DH is away for the week, because his parents aren't going to find out! We can stay up after bathtime watching a Disney film snuggled on the sofa and not get told off! I'd not do that with my own child, I've always said. Well, not my own toddler. Maybe my own slightly older child on a weekend. But not just so I could maybe get a lie-in the next day. I'd also not consider it important to stand on a cold railway platform for hours with my own child, for Liebling it's his favourite outing so it's great to tell his Dad that we've done that today.

I think I'd be a lot worse mother than I am carer. So I'm kinda glad, for Liebs' sake, that I never gave birth!

eta - I forgot the best thing about not being Liebling's mother... absolutely no guilt when I take him to nursery and go to work!