DS #1 - Neither of us really knew what to expect - DH massaged my hips for about 3 mnutes, then said his hands hurt, sucked on my gas to see what it felt like, and after I had an epi (one of THOSE first time looooooooong labours) - I had the bad shakes and was petrified, whilst he slept in the big comfy chair .....

DD - He kept changing music to his liking so I told him to turn it off - he gave me the most foul look like who did I think I was - this was about transition time .... I was stuck on bed so he could do whatever he wanted apparently and when I did need some touch/help, just looked totally bored with the whole thing!

NOW - he realises the music thing totally out of line and that he wasn't very supportive - even though there.

THIS time we have a doula and I am going to give it my best natural shot ... and he KNOWS he has a job to do now apart from being an observer.

However, I never made him feel bad, until we started talking about upcoming birth and doula discussions - men being men, he took it personally like he had failed me and why hadn't I said anything - oh der, look at his reaction!!! I didn't want to make him feel bad ..