Funny things you said in labour

[~*Niadalla*~]

OK well, apart from saying 3 times... "I cant do this", to which everyone told me I could and I then replied "ok then", The doc was trying to get a bung in my arm for a drip, as my bubs was meant to be a biggin and it was, just in case (this is what I wsa told in between contractions). The doc tried 12 diff spots in both arms, and just couldnt get a good vein. It was approx 130am and I said to her just before she gave up and in between contractions, " geez, I'm making you work ahrd for your money tonight!!" lol
Apparently I kept cracking jokes at strange intervals, until I started pushing. The middies had told me earlier that when it was time for bubs to come out, it would feel like my parts were burning. AFter this, all I had running through my head was Johnny cash's csong 'ring of fire', and kept repeating to myself in my head " and it burns burns burns... the ring of fire... the ring of fire'.

Thats exactly how I would describe it too middies!!

[StrawberryMumma]

I remember praying over and over while I was in labour "Please god just let it (the contractions) stop for just half an hour, so I can have a rest, then I promise to push this baby out"..Unfortunately my prayers were not answered!

[visitor1]

I jus forever asked the time and how much longer....'Dont lie to me... just tell me the truth'...lol

Or when they would say not much longer... "How much longer is not long?"

[Nadine216]

I had a c-section, but a friend of mine told me that when she deliverd her baby boy, her husband shouted: "WOW look at his balls, it's my son!!!!

[kungfubecca]

wow, i was really boring

willow thats fantastic !! i was telling dh and he didn't find it half as funny as i did

i just had your ususl , it hurts, whens it going to end, and

owey owey owey owey at the peak of contractions.

lol nadine, what a proud dad

[MantaRay]

I know both times I turned up to hossy and told them I wasn't in labour! With Jack I really, truly thought that it wasn't it. I was a day overdue and was having strong, regular pains so I really must have been in denial. I told DH in the car all the way to hossy that I was going to look stupid when they found out I wasn't really in labour. Then I got there and they said to change into a gown to which I replied "no, don't you want to check me first to see if I am in labour". They laughed at me and gave me a knowing a look - seeing as I was bent over double in pain at the time I think they knew something I didn't!

Then with Tom I was pretty sure it was labour pains but it was 4 weeks early and my ob had said I'd be unlikely to go early. So I walked up to the desk and said "this can't be it, it's too early". The mw said "well you look pretty convincing to me". Tom was born less than an hour later!

[REEZY]

with the first I remember telling my partner if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be there.

He missed the second cause he was born at 6:00 in morning 125kms away. i had to convince the midwife tho who wouldn't listen that i was actually having him(was already in hospital). in the end i just pushed and he came out she pooped herself.

with the 3rd i told my partner over a hundred times to shut up even if he looked at me he was told to shut up. didn't really want him near me just the midwife she new what i wanted he sat there peeping over the top of a mag not game to talk.

[jemima]

I remember with DS#1 that as I was walking into the labour ward I heard another woman screaming/yelling and she obviously in a lot of pain. I whispered to DH "there is no way I will be making that much noise as I will be too self conscious and embarassed". Well a few hours later I was making just as much if not more noise as the woman I heard when we were walking in.

I also remember yelling at DH during the labour to eat an apple. He was like "what??" and I yelled at him to eat the apple that was packed in my bag. Weird - I have no idea why I was so desperate for him to eat the apple LOL!!

[pansy]

pmsl Jemima about eating the apple....

[aussienic]

some of these are so funny..

The apple one Way to funny

I was pretty quiet during my labour. I just wanted to go home and curl up on my mums bed.. And I kept saying I was sorry and DH was saying sorry back to me.. My mum and MW thought we were pretty funny

[Nadine216]

I just rememberd a story I hear from one of our clients. He told it himself, I am not gossiping! He was a heavy drinker in his days, really heavy. He was working the mines when the call came that his wife has gone into labour. So his friend rushes him home to get a shower and take him to the hospital. After the shower, they had a drink, some drinks and ended up having lots of drinks on the way to the hospital. He ran into the ward and ask where is the woman having a baby. The guy mopping the floors points to the room. He goes in, see his wife and holds her hand. He tells he was very supportive, but totally interested in what was going on "down there". So with when the baby came out the dr turn to him and says: Congragtulatons Mr du Toit, its a boy!!
He turns to the dr and say: I am Mr Keyser
He missed his son's birth, because he was with the liquore-store's owners wife (no I am not kidding) She and his wife had the same build and black hair.

[Matryoshka]

I said some hillarious things looking back:

"cut me, cut me now"
(when midwife refused to do an episiotomy)

"then i'll have a glass of wine"
(after being told i couldn't have any more morphine)

"you're so annoying"
(to my dh)

"the gas isn't working... noooo don't take it away"
(while having gas)

[Julie Doula]

These are hilarious.

I was really boring. Since I had a reputation for being quite the drama queen, dh was steeling himself for the big melt-down where has to go wading into the fray and take command: "Now Julie, just listen to me! Breeeeaaath!" (I would've decked him if he had, I think!) Instead, we found the perfect cure for my loquacity: labour. I became monosyllabic. Yep, probaby the only time in my life ....
"Door." "Drink." " Back." They had to figure out what I meant. Only enough energy for one word. Then even that tapered off.
The drama queen to upstage all drama queens has a labour so boring that the entire birth team fell asleep - including me - in between contractions that is - then one would come and I'd jerk awake - "huh? Whuzzat?? Oh yeh - I'm in labour!"

When she was born, neither me or dh said a word. We were stunned, mesmerized ... I dunno - maybe just too dang tired!

An hour later, having a herbal bath with bub, I made up for lost time and chattered my poor patient midwife's ear off. I basically haven't shut up since ...

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

"Oh wow, I get the machine that goes Ping!" or words to that effect.

One that makes me laugh is when I told DH not to worry, I wouldn't pester him for another child for a few years now... would have started in recovery if he'd have hung around!

[Antheia]

During my labour i kept saying 'i am never doing this again!' about an hour after i had charlie i said 'can we do it again?'

When charlie was born i said 'omg he's sooo tiny!' My midwife laughed and said no he's not! (he was 9lb) But i think i was just so used to Lily that i'd forgotten how small a baby was compared to a toddler.

[Adnil]

These are golden!

I watched Olivia with the mirror. When the head came out I was so surprised I said "is that the head???" Well, yeah!

ETA: Julie - I was like you - could barely get a word out until second stage. I was almost silent the whole time. My longest sentence was "my waters broke"

[Lucy]

Loving all of these ladies. Warms the heart. Thank you!

[C~Q]

I do remember saying that I wasn't doing this anymore and closing my legs. To which my mother replied it was abit late now to be shutting my legs.

PMSL Trish, that is sooo funny!

With DS I remember going "ooohhh f**k, f**k,f**k," not screaming but quite quietly. DH said not me "don't swear, it's not ladylike" well, you can imagine my reaction and my language to that!