These are hilarious.

I was really boring. Since I had a reputation for being quite the drama queen, dh was steeling himself for the big melt-down where has to go wading into the fray and take command: "Now Julie, just listen to me! Breeeeaaath!" (I would've decked him if he had, I think!) Instead, we found the perfect cure for my loquacity: labour. I became monosyllabic. Yep, probaby the only time in my life ....
"Door." "Drink." " Back." They had to figure out what I meant. Only enough energy for one word. Then even that tapered off.
The drama queen to upstage all drama queens has a labour so boring that the entire birth team fell asleep - including me - in between contractions that is - then one would come and I'd jerk awake - "huh? Whuzzat?? Oh yeh - I'm in labour!"

When she was born, neither me or dh said a word. We were stunned, mesmerized ... I dunno - maybe just too dang tired!

An hour later, having a herbal bath with bub, I made up for lost time and chattered my poor patient midwife's ear off. I basically haven't shut up since ...