Sarah - you can do this. I know it sounds silly but the anxiety gives you a chance to sort out some boundaries and get a plan for your new arrival. OP has given some awesome advice!!!!
I was in a similiar situation with # 2 and only worked out I was petrified of induction of the second at 32 weeks. I was lucky enough to avoid induction but only after I had done all my homework to have a battle plan in place. Infact it was only after my midwife told me she's sort things so I didn't have to see the very pro induction OB (I was a public pt) that I went into labour and had DD the next morning.
My issues were almost identical to OP's - I wanted to be able to access wireless monitoring and have really low levels of the synto before it was cranked up to max.

You are not a sook either - just trying to gain some control over a process that is really important. I think that that is very brave and also really sensible.