Tashy - those are beautiful words and suggestions. I will be applying some of them myself, even though I don't have the same kind of issues Dan is dealing with.

Dan - oh hun, what a toughie. I have no points on dealing with your family, since I have not had this experience. I am very sorry for the loss of your precious nephew. It is in no way connected with the arrival of your own beautiful baby, but I can see how thoughtful you are being to be empathetic to your sister and family.

As for the birthdate, that is something I can imagine, as I nearly faced a similar birthdate-disaster this time around. My father's birthday is in January and he is the only family member or friend who does have a January birthday. No way would I want my baby to share its birthday with such a blot on our family. Thankfully, I think it would be extremely unlikely she is quite that overdue (two weeks), but the possibility is there. I am trying to celebrate the fact that finally I will be able to know that January is hopefully going to be the birth month of my much-wanted DD2, completely removing the connection to someone who has no place in my family (spiritually, if not by fact of blood/birth/marriage). Now every January I can get through without having to think about him, since her birth and birthday will be the new focus.

That is, of course, unless the little monkey decides to come early and slips into 2011.