Gen Y Embarrased to Breastfeed

[~Raven~]

I think they are part the product of their parents generation who thought it was better to FF IYKWIM so never really had BF normalised to them. They aren't used to seeing the breast as anything more than a cosmetic object or one for male gratification.

I can empathise with young mums feeling ogled and I don't want anyone ogling my wife either.

Not to make an example of you spenceee but if people were to look at your wife if she was BF in public why would you think they were ogling? They might look and think it nice to see a mother BF her child but it's not an ogle. Admittedly there have been sickos out there that made the news, but they are few and far between. I'd bet there are more women grabbed on the butt in the supermarket than ogled when BF lol. Personally I received far many more compliments and smiles than I did leers.

ETA Jodi you posted while I was typing

[Miss E]

Interesting article, but I can't help but think the lack of knowledge has more to do with the probability that most of the respondents wouldn't have had children yet or even be planning to do so in the near future. I'm a gen x'er and I have to say that I really didn't have any idea about those issues until after I got pregnant. Yes I knew that breastfeeding was meant to be better for your baby, but I didn't know why or how much better. In fact I didn't know about when you introduced solids or that you should continue breastfeeding till 12 months until after I had my bub!

TBH I'm not entirely comfortable breastfeeding in public. I have done it once or twice when I've had no other choice, but usually I will use the parents room or plan ahead and have a bottle of EBM with me. It's not really about people looking at me or anything like that, I guess I'm just a bit of a prude and don't feel comfortable. But I never saw that as a reason not to breastfeed till 12 months, it's easy to work around and really isn't an issue.

[suse]

It would be interesting to know whether the study focused on people planning to have children in the near future, or on random Gen Y-ers. This study probably says less about attitudes towards breastfeeding amongst a demographic of young adults than it does about the prosaic phenomenon of being relatively ignorant about a topic prior to having any plan to engage in it.

More relevant would be a longitudinal study contrasting the attitudes and knowledge of that demographic at a minimum of three points: before the intent to have children, after falling pregnant but before the birth of the child, and one or two years after the birth of the child. I would be surprised if such a study did not show a general shift in attitude at each point, attributable to an increase in specific education and or direct experience.

Although it can be inferred that there is ignorance amongst the general community relating to the laws regarding public breastfeeding as well as the practicality of doing it discreetly, if such a large proportion of respondents would not envisage their child being fed in public due to embarrassment.

ETA: Miss E - we had exactly the same thought LOL!

[PumpkinZulu]

Uh, hmmm, not sure I agree with that study. As one of the youngest members of BB (maybe the youngest, I'm not sure ) I think the study needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Ofcorse most gen y-ers would feel awkward about bfing at this point in time; they're YOUNG and most gen y-ers priorities are not what way to nourish their children, and if it's appropriate to do so in public. Sure, a lot of the 'oldie' generation y members are getting towards the 'average' age of settling down etc, (Spenceee, I'm talkin' about you, 27, geez, time to retire gramps ) but the study didn't say how many of the gen y participants were from the ages of, I don't know, 13 to 21? I'm sure if you asked a whole bunch of gen x-ers and even baby boomers this same question when they were teens/young adults, they would have said the same; 'boobs out in public, how embarrassing!' Peoples opinions change over time, and with information. As Spenceee said, he only really started seeing breasts as more than a pair of squishy fun-bags until his wife became pregnant, and he began reading/hearing/learning about pregnancy, bfing and all the rest of it. With age comes more wisdom and a greater capacity to consider more options, open your mind more, get more information. And, as I said, peoples priorities will change as their time to have children approaches, i.e. they will be more fussed with learning about bfing etc than going out with friends, building careers etc. And by that stage (when gen y is old hat lol) whether they ('we') breastfeed in public will not come down to a very marginalized study done years ago, it will simply come down to personal choice. Some will have no qualms bfing in public, others will - just like any other age group, it is simply the individuals choice whether or not it is something they want to do.

[Jakabella]

Unfortunatly BF didnt work for me but when I was trying I didnt mind getting my boobs out at any stage and alot of the time in hospital I had to try and express at certain times weather ppl were in the room or not.

So I had to formula feed and I certainly WAS NEVER ashamed or embarressed by that at all - I was feeding my bub the only way I could. (sorry that comment really upset me)

IF i am lucky enough to BF my next bub I will have no qualms about feeding public.

Kate

[clairekerzner]

I read that article today, too- it got me so annoyed I even posted a reply, though I don't think it got published :P

My problem with the article was twofold.

1. This news service is constantly publishing articles slamming "Gen Y" for their poor decisions/ lack of responsibility/ etc etc etc. They tar everyone in this generation with the same brush, when there's absolutely no way we're all making the same decisions or behaving the same way. I just get so irritated to see my generation matter-of-factly referred to as lazy/ fickle/ irresponsible when I know that *I* and most of the people I know couldn't be further from that. The survey itself certainly had some interesting results, not least showing the need for greater breastfeeding awareness, but any valid message was buried under the usual Gen Y bashing.

2. The people surveyed, by the wording of the questions/ answers obviously don't have kids yet, and in the article title they're called "future" mums. They're saying they "don't think" they'll breastfeed to six months, or that they "believed it would be" embarrassing to breastfeed in public. I'd love to hear from those same people once they've gone through the whole process of antenatal care and giving birth!

I wasn't sure I'd be comfortable breastfeeding in public, either, before my DD arrived in 2008 (when I was 27). But it certainly wasn't going to stop me from doing it. I also thought I would only breastfeed for six months- having no experience at all with babies, I had a weird idea that kids went straight from boob to all solids as soon as their first teeth popped through <g>. I know, I know. Lol.

Anyway! My daughter spent a month in the NICU, and I had every doctor, nurse and midwife in three hospitals, plus every family member and all my friends, watching me attempt to breastfeed her for the first four weeks. After that kind of start, plus two rounds of ultrasound treatment for mastitis, my perspective on breastfeeding was completely altered. At 14 months of age my DD is still breastfed anywhere, anytime. I don't cover up, and if anyone else feels uncomfortable about it I believe it's up to them to look the other way (or get an education!).

As to the six months, by the time I got there, I was nowhere near ready to give up the wonderful breastfeeding relationship we had, and I'm still not quite.

So, I really don't think there's any relevance in the study, since none of those surveyed actually know what it's like to hold a little bundle in their arms and feed them. Yet.

[Lulu]

Totally agree on all points Claire.

[Glamourcide]

Spencee, honey, when that bub arrives, and you've been through the whole process of birthing and what not, BFing in public will seem normal to you if the missus establishes it successfully and is able to BF whenever and wherever she pleases.
My own experience: DD1 was FF'd pretty much from birth. Her delivery was very traumatic, resulting in a near-fatal PPH, and my milk just never got up and running despite constant expressing. I come from a family of FFers and it was just 'the easy thing' to do - and even in hindsight, probably my only choice. At that stage, yes, boobs were still 'icky' to me and the thought of getting them out in public was kind of weird - I LOVE seeing BFing mums, just couldn't see myself having the guts to do it myself, kwim?
Round two - DD2's textbook delivery, BFing established within minutes and a hefty supply within days. No problems. My first chop at BFing in public was lodging the baby bonus paperwork in Centrelink when she was less than 72 hours old. And I had the bad luck to sit down and feed her while DH stood in line waiting for service, and some random sleaze seated himself right in front of me and tried to cop a look (I was using a blanket over my shoulder and wearing two shirts so I could pull one up and one down and have zero skin on show if the blanket slipped). DH noticed, gave him what-for and I never, ever had a negative experience again - except for one time in a McDonald's restaurant (again with a blanket over my shoulder) from a grandmother who didn't think it was 'suitable' for her grandsons to be 'exposed' to such a thing.

Other than those two experiences, though, I fed anywhere and everywhere. My husband, after some earbashing from the new lactivist he was sleeping next to, grew to see my 'funbags' as 'feedbags' (unless the kids were asleep and we were getting back in the saddle lol). He was a bit uncomfy at first with the idea of me getting them out in public, but he soon realised it wasn't like I was hanging out at the mall with completely bare breasts for the world to see. Like I said, I took to wearing a singlet with a tee over the top - pull shirt up to my shoulder, pull singlet down to let a boob out, and get bub on there - nothing shown, nobody 'offended', nobody embarrassed. It became completely normal behaviour to BF in public and I was glad to be doing my bit to educate my girlfriends about BFing - that it wasn't 'weird', or 'gross', or 'indecent', or anything other than a way to feed a kid conveniently, safely (no messing around with bottles and the risk of bacteria etc if you've carted a warmed-up bottle with you all day), and quickly

I even felt comfortable BFing in front of DH's male friends, his work colleagues, and my dad (eek!). Getting a boob out when my daughter cried was just as natural and normal as popping a dummy in her mouth or picking her up and giving her a cuddle. If people were uncomfortable seeing me feed my child, with a blanket over my shoulder, then they were more than free to simply avert their eyes - it's their hang-up, not mine. I've never seen my breasts as a sexual thing (tbh I've never seen my body as a whole as anything really special, and like most women I probably pay my flaws more consideration than anybody else), so it wasn't much of a transition from seeing them as 'playthings' to 'feeding equipment'.

And, truly... nobody 'looks'. People might glance as they would at anybody they pass, then they see you BFing and either smile because they love seeing babies, or they just look away and keep going


I agree with most of the others who have shared their thoughts - the sample group was probably flawed because before I planned on having kids, I thought along the same lines - boobs only get fresh air in the comfort of your own home, or a nudist beach. They're not for cafes or shopping centres. But now that I have babies, I know better and found it very easy to overcome my fears. I credit BB with 99.9% of my attitude towards BFing, so get the missus on here and in the BFing forums and talking to mums who do it every day, and there'll be no fear left in a few short weeks!

Best of luck

ETA: Oh, tell the Jellymaker from me that Supre does the best singlets for BFing, especially if she's gonna wear a shirt over the top to do BFing Glamourcide-style They're quite low-cut at the top so they're very easy to pull down, and the straps are really stretchy so they can take a lot of punishment. And they're sooo cheap, she can have a different singlet for every day of the week!

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Sometimes i'd like to know who they survey for things like this.. no offence to anyone but is it party boys/girls who have no idea about babies past the idea of getting laid?
Is it career men/women who have spent their entire life at school or studying that don't even want to think about a baby until their in their 30's?

I'm GEN Y, most of our mothers group is GEN Y and ALL yes thats right ALL of us breastfed, some had to give it up within the first 6mths but we all tried for as long as possible.

I understand that not EVERYONE knows about breastfeeding and not everyone chooses to but do they seriously think that people aren't doing it because they are embarrassed?
I don't care where i am if my child is hungry i will feed her, the same as i did with DD1.
I use a muslin wrap tucked into my top/dress and down over DD's head to make sure everything is covered.
I've even breastfed in a busy restaurant while eating tea... who really cares, i'm not flashing anyone and i would never be embarrassed to do THE NATURAL THING.

I know men can feel a little funny about it, DP asked me once when i was at my cousins WHERE i breastfeed while i'm there.. i said on the couch (cousins wife had a baby 4 days b4 me), he said even with D there.. i was like yeah why, he's my cousin he's not staring at my (.)(.)...

It takes a bit of getting used to but you will realise people wont be ogling your partner, some people fo a double take cos they realise your doing something but they never actually stare... it's great your asking questions and everything though...

Sorry if i've made no sense... hehe

[sunshine_sieben]

I have heard those stats before and they make me really sad.
But, to be honest, before having kids, i had no idea what age solids should be introduced, either.
I don't think any man thinks of breasts as anything else than the contents of their sexual fantasies. Well, unless he has a close family member (mother, sister, wife, daughter) who is currently BFing.
Regarding the question about BFing discreetly in public, if your wife can make it work, feeding in a carrier or a wrap like the Hug-A-Bub can be very discreet. A BFing wardrobe also makes a difference. Or alternatively a shawl or something like that can do the trick.
I personally never bothered to cover up. Firstly, because in the beginning it didn't come to me so easily, so I needed to see what was going on. Secondly, my kids didn't like being covered up, thirdly, cause I couldn't be bothered and last but not least, I don't think I need to cover up. I actually make a point of making it look like thee most normal thing in the world. I WANT people to see what I am doing. I WANT it to be a common sight. I DO NOT WANT to hide away or make it look like it is shameful. Of course I don't wave my boobs into people's faces. When I feed my baby's head and body covers up almost everything. So there really isns't much to see.

Oh, for older babbies, BFing necklaces can be great as they keep bub focused and stop them from "flirting" with every person walking past.

I find it really puzzling that this generation is so happy to go out clubbing wearing very daring outfits, go to the beach in skimpy Bikinis, etc. But breastfeeding is embarrassing??? How does that make any sense?
I always tell myself: Most people who are walking by have seen boobs before. What's the big deal?

For what it's worth, people don't stare. I've never run into that scenario. Some people seem to look away and are a little embarrassed. but I figure, that's their problem, not mine. But you have no idea how many people come up to you and make positive comments. Often older ladies who say how wonderful it is to see women BF their babies. Or recall how special their own BFing relationships were with their own children.

[msadelaide]

Can you tell me what you mean by that ?

I have formula fed 3 children and not been at all embarassed and i have nothing against breast feeding at all...

I understand that some people have no choice but to bottle feed and I havent got an issue with what other people do in regards to their own children. I would feel embarrassed formula feeding because I personally would feel that I had failed.

Ive had people stare and comment directly to me that breastfeeding was disgusting,the are to embarrassed and how/why do i do it ect. especially for feeding an older child. I didnt get offended so I dont know why people would be offended with a comment that I personally woudl feel embarrassed bottle feeding because of a personal feeling of failure.

[sunshine_sieben]

Glamourcide

tbh I've never seen my body as a whole as anything really special, and like most women I probably pay my flaws more consideration than anybody else

That's exactly how I feel.

[Shades]

Spencee - I found 'discreet' breastfeeding (using a muslin to cover up etc) really hard because my son kept losing his mouthful and then I'd have to lift the cloth to help him back on, or sit there with it over my head as well - which made me feel WAY more embarrassed and self-conscious than sitting there confidently with him latched on and no muslin...
I made a point of just pushing past the embarrassment right from the first feeds in hospital with visitors present so it was easier to do it in public later on. Once you're used to it there's really not that much breast showing and sometimes you can barely even tell... let alone ogle.

[Dansta]

i agree with the artical - that most people my age are "thingy" about breast feeding. im 20, and i tried bf-ing my DS for the first 8 weeks, any where any time. DH was very, very supportive of this. if any one looked i'd glare back at them. with the next bubba, i'll squirt milk at them - they wanna look then they can cop an "eye full"

people my age (gen y i'm guessing ) it seems have been bought up with boobies = sex. yep, that simple. i think that because of that, they dont want to 'share' their boobies - in the giving for food sense, KWIM? they also dont want to be...how do i put this. restricted with bfing - as in they cant go out becuase they have the milk, yes expressing is a way around this, but that takes time. (i'm trying not to offend any one here too!) they see FF = freedom (i FF my DS so i know its not..) i think maybe when they do sex ed in schools they need to talk OPENLY and HONESTLY about breast feeding...well theres my 2cents

edit: i forgot to say a friend of DH's his DW is happy to Bf but HATES seeing other women do it. so i warned her - your in my house, if my baby needs food, my boobie will be out and about dont like dont look

[Nelle]

Mmm I agree Dansta, a mention of breastfeeding in school might do well towards normalising things.

I don't think it's necessarily a generation thing, it's just what people have been exposed (lol) to. If you have friends with babies, then b'fing will seem a bit more normal and do-able, if you were like me and rarely saw it, then you might say (as I did at the very first feed) 'this is so weird'. And then my friend said 'you're doing a great job' and I looked down and realised my little guy was so little and dependent on me for food and suddenly it didn't feel weird, it felt normal.

I think the article's a lot of tosh, or misleadingly titled (surprise surprise!) at best. If you titled it 'Most People Aren't Sure How They'll Feel About Breastfeeding When They Do It One Day' then perhaps that would be more accurate.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

As someone on the gen X/Y border, I would BF anywhere. People didn't ogle: having a baby on there is a bit of a turn-off! Plus I had tops that you didn't have to lift and expose all my flabby tummy: that helped too! It looked like we were just having a cuddle.

I find it's the older women who go to bottles before 6m. The younger ones can be scarily - militantly - passionate about it.

[{sarah}]

My question is what is Gen Y??

I just googled it & got:
1) 1981 or later
2) 1977 - 1997
3) 1976 - 1985
4) 1980 - 1990

This article is referring to 18-29 year olds, so 1980-1992, I wonder if another article on Gen Y using a different definition would get a different result? Just thinking out loud...

[Jellyfish]

I feel more embarrased in front of people I know than in front of strangers -- especially my brother, dad and friends my age without children (I'm 21). I'm sure I wouldn't have known when solids were introduced or the first thing about breastfeeding unless I had to AND I DO feel embarrased in public but it doesn't stop me doing so. It is getting worse, not better, as she gets older (approaching 11months now) because a lot of people are pushing the whole "you can give that up soon", I just smile and nod with full intention of continuing but it does make me a bit uncomfortable to know that they aren't on the same page as me and might not support it.