In response to the 'projecting' suggestion, I honestly don't think so. I thought about how I would approach a sensitive situation with someone I cared about and for a start it wouldn't be by email.
In addition I would let the other person know how I understood how what i was saying could make things difficult for them (empathy) and ultimately I would be super apologetic and acknowledge that for them to concede would be doing me a big favour, as opposed to the attitude of 'it's my day, so you should'.
I don't think 'it's nothing personal' really cuts it when you are hurting someone you care about, you let them know how much they are valued & how you don't want to upset them. The email lacked warmth that I would expect when dealing with a sensitive subject with someone I valued.
Thats a really good point about emailing, you're right, an email is not the way to do it. Maybe I need to re-read the message again. I just didnt get that impression the first time.