What would I do? I wouldn't miss a family wedding, particularly when it's such close family. But I would not let anyone dictate how and when I feed my child. I don't care if your a bride or the pope or whatever, if my child is hungry then I will feed him/her. Having said that I wouldn't feed up on the altar (although kochie probably thinks I want to) but would probably feed discreetly towards the back of the chapel/church. I'd probably hang up the back even if I didn't need to feed in case my child was a bit noisy so as not to disturb the ceremony.

I wonder if the same request would have been made if your DS was a newborn? Maybe because he is a toddler she thinks that he is too old to be bfing? My IL's used to drive me nuts by saying its 'gross' to bf a toddler and that if they can ask for it then they are too old blah blah blah.

Anyway good luck with whatever you decide x