Poos don't slow down until well after newborn stage from my understanding. I did end up with a very infrequent-pooer (17 days without one!) but that was when she was several months old. As a newborn it was every bf.
*PinkLily* I understand your reluctance to increase the number of bfs if you are already expressing an hour after each bf. Have you considered dropping some of the times you express and replacing those with a bf about 2 hrs after the previous? It's a lot of work to be putting yourself thru - bfing, expressing and all the work of cleaning, etc! Is there any chance you could take a day in bed - just you and bub and sleep and relax all day? Bf her regularly (2 hrly if possible) and nap in between. Have snacks and drinks nearby, but if possible have someone there to bring you what you need! Your baby will get more from you than you will get from a pump and there's much less work involved!
Good luck today and I hope everything goes well...
Thanks everyone for your reponses and suggestions. This is what has happened since:
- she finally put on 30grams in a 48hr period which is good, but still not great.
- my nipples were getting very tender/painful even to touch, or if material brushed against it which was making BF even more difficult as I would be in constant pain. Thought it was attachment, but from what I could tell she was attaching fine.
- eneded up going to the doctors when the tips of my nipples started to go white and was diagnosed with thrush. Have been applying a liquid for the last few days and they have improved out of sight - doesn't hurt to touch them now
- in that time decided it was best to FF DD and she put on a weeks worth of weight in 5 days (midwife from the clinic was very happy about her improvement). As a result my supply has dropped off dramatically - still leak occasionally tho.
Unfortunatley, now that my nipples have healed, I want to go back to BF (midwife already advised me that I would need drugs to increase my supply as I just don't seem to produce enough), but DH is VERY against it (I had a bit of a mental breakdown with all the BF, expressing and stress that she wasn't getting enough. Lots of crying!!!!).
I know it's difficult but I just keep thinking that though she is thriving on FF, BF is optimum for her. How can I convince DH, how long does it take for the motilium (sp) to work, and can this been done????
*PinkLilly* big to you. These first weeks with a newborn are so hard.
Firstly a huge YES you can relactate (i did after going through a very similar experience) and the shorter the time between stopping and relactating the easier it is to achieve this.
If you really want to get back to bf then i really recommend seeing a LC as she will be able to help you build your supply back up and give you steps of how to do this, which will be easier using motilium but you can also look at herbal remedies as well and the LC will also look at the past 3 weeks and help you identify what happened. As for the midwife's comment of not enough...this is true for a very small percentage of women, you would probably have found that with more frequent feeds (and it is hard to do this but normally only take a couple of days) and not worrying about the regular expressing that your supply would have increased dramatically.
In regards to your DH, talk to him about what you want and explain to him that these first weeks are super hard and demanding, that you will be emotional and weepy and tell him what you need from him in the way of support.
I wish you all the luck with your journey with Ava (what a lovely name) and if you want support anytime PM me.
In the meantime why not try some breastfeeding too - still offer the formula afterwards, but keep both Ava and yourself in practise! Breastfeeding doesn't have to be exclusive to be beneficial - and with the FF as back up you don't need to stress about supply.
Hi,
Those early days of breastfeeding can feel like you are living in a pressure cooker - you feel like you *have* to make a decision one way or another - NOW! And unfortunately, it can mean you make a decision you later regret. There is no reason why you can't go back to breastfeeding, at least partially, but probably wholly. You do need the right information and support though - you've been through a lot. I would suggest you get in touch with a Lactation Consultant. If you let me know (by PM) where you live, I can probably recommend one.
The sooner you go back to breastfeeding, the easier it will be - so try to put her back for at least some feeds straight away. Your dh - was he always against breastfeeding? Or is it a result of seeing what you went through. Might help to ask him why he is feeling the way he is.
Warm Regards
Barb
I just wanted to wish you all the best and I hope the journey gets easier for you. While it's lovely of your DH to not want to see you in pain or upset, it might be helpful to point out to him that bfing gets much easier after the initial stages and is much more convenient for you (as well as better for both you and bub). He can be a huge help by supporting you in your decision, providing drinks while you're bfing and changing/burping bub during. Good luck...
Barb - DH is against it purley because of what I wentthrough in the begining and he figures "if it aint broke, don't fix it". DD is now thriving, where she wasn't before on BF. I have decided to offer the breast before every meal and then top up with FF (supply is now such that she wouldn't be satisfied - not that she ever was) and see how that goes. I know it will take a bit to increase my supply (how long????). Also thinking of spending a day at my mums place just putting DD to the boob for an intensive 'increase my supply' session.
I had motilium when I had trouble with my supply with Jayden and it worked wonders! From memory it doesn't take too long too take effect and you can always top up with formula in the meantime.
As far as DH goes....I can totally relate! Every feed DP tells me to give her a bottle or asks why I'm not giving her a bottle. Just remind your DH how much formula costs and he might support your decision a bit more (didn't work for my DP though but I have learnt to ignore him!)
Another update - yes already. DH won't support my decision at all. He got quite angry when he saw me trying to BF DD and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night.
I really needed his support in this decision as I can't do this by myself. I can't fight him, and try to feed DD at the same time! I have been crying for the last couple of hours because I know I just won't be able to BF my daughter.
I wish i could help, my dh asks why i dont just give Jacob a bottle so he can do a feed and I can have a sleep but he knows my thought on breastfeeding and has now learnt to shut up!!
I also have had issues with ? supply ? reflux but have just percereved.
Speak to DH and tell him how important it is to you show him some infor on how great BF is for you, ava, his wallet and the environment.
Oh PL, that is an awful situation to be in. Can I suggest trying the ABA helpline?
While it would be very helpful to have your DH's support, I would hate for you to make a decision you regret and resent him for. That wouldn't be good for you or your relationship. It seems odd that he would be angry with you when he has said the reason he doesn't want you to bf is to avoid the problems and pain you felt initially. Especially if you weren't having any obvious problems trying to bf her.
I think maybe your idea of a day at your Mum's place sounds like it is needed sooner rather than later. Perhaps if he sees you are determined to give it a red-hot go then he won't try emotionally manipulating you into doing what makes him feel better. (Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I'd realy like to give him a good kick right now!).
Oh hun. Big hugs. You are having such a difficult time. It is not going to be easy to bf without your DH's support. But it's also not going to be easy living with regret, if you really want to be bfing and you don't give it a try. If bfing is what you really want to do (and it seems from your posts that it is), then I would try and get your DH to understand how much this means to you.
I know that it is very difficult to explain yourself rationally when you are tired and emotional. So maybe it would help to write all your reasons down (we can help you with some ideas), and then show that to your DH. Explain to him that to you it IS broke, and that not bfing is going to upset you more than trying again. You could also ask him if he would take to a LC or the ABA help line with you, to try and get some more information on what is involved and how much this means to you.
Some reasons you could put on your list:
- cheaper (no need to buy formula)
- takes less time once established (no need to wash bottles, mix up formula etc)
- easier to go out (no need to take bottles, formula, worry about finding somewhere to warm bottle) etc
- studies show that mums (and dads) get more sleep when babies are bf (as feeding takes less time and it is easier to fall asleep during/after thanks to the "sleepy" hormones released)
- it puts you at a lower risk of breast cancer and osteoporosis
- it gives you and bub higher immunity so neither of you get sick as often (Which is bound to make life easier for you and your DH and to make you happier)
- there are lots of other benefits to bub including receiving stem cells, jaw development which helps with speech later on, higher iron levels, a much lower risk of any gastro bugs, improved eyesight etc etc.
- you really want to
And that's just for starters .
GL hun, I hope he is able to understand and support you in this. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help you.
Pinklily, MantaRay has given you some wonderful advice. I also think you should ring the ABA helpline and have chat, it may help just to have someone to talk to..you could also even get DH onto the phone with them and maybe they could give him some advice and maybe they could explain things to him from your perspective.
Stick with it and your bub will be thriving in no time.
I want you to know that we are all here for you, these early weeks are really hard. It's a shame your DH isn't supporting you, I know my DP tried many times to get me to give DS the bottle (grased nipples, taking over an hour to feed each time, feeding every 2-3 hrs, lack of sleep, crying everyday, he wants to feed DS etc.... no problem with supply thankfuly) i even brought 1 can of formulae but I stuck to my guns. I had an emergency c/section so this was one way I could make up for it I suppose, but I digress... I am glad I persisted as it takes less than 5 mins to feed usualy.
I think Mantaray suggestion is great, try & talk to him & find out why he thinks it ain't broke & explain to him why you think it is. Maybe no-one in his family b/f?? so he doesn't see it as important.
This sounds like it is an important issue for you & if you don't come to an agreement with DH you may find you will resent him or worse still you DD.
I do have a few things to add to the pro's of breastmilk, do you know that breastmilk is different for every mother according to what bubba needs. It tastes different as well so you are DD is likely to be fussier when she starts solids.
Goodluck, do what is right for you.
Tonight DH and I came to a compromise. We have agreed that I will express what I can (expressing much more than we feed DD just to help get my supply re-established and to help it increase), and feed her via bottle. That way we know exactly how much she is getting (which is a great piece of mind for both of us) and she will still be getting the breast milk that I so want her to have.
Sitting here expressing and have already managed to get maybe 5mls from one boob .
Your dedication to your little one under difficult circumstances really shines through. At a recent Conference I heard Dr Paula Meier say that even having one to two teaspoons of milk in per day in the early days has a significant positive impact on baby's health and well-being at 8 years of age - so you are doing a great job.
It is never two soon to start working towards your next breastfeeding experience. Do you think, by and by, DH would be ammenable to going to an ABA breastfeeding education class? It is really a very worthwhile thing to do.
It can seem impossible to know how much your baby is getting unless you see the milk disappearing past those mmlines on the bottle. But, while it tells you how much your baby is getting, it doesn't tell you how much he wants or needs! You can tell that by looking at your baby, watching his cues and being senitive to his needs. Sometimes it takes a few kids to learn these things!
Warm Regards
Barb
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to you. These first weeks with a newborn are so hard.
and tell him what you need from him in the way of support.
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