Prama - I really feel for you, I went through the exact same thing. It was awful but I managed to get through it.

DS was born on his due date but his mouth was small and my nipples are large and we just couldn't seem to get enough in his mouth. I was in agony and dreaded every feed. I saw so many differnt LC and nurses and while BF seemed to go ok while they were there to help, as soon as they were gone it was excruciating again.

My Dr gave me tyleonl 3 which helped a lot and my husband gave me tons of encouragement, which also helped a lot. I didn't want to FF as I felt I was letting him down but the pain of BF was driving me insane and I was crying all the time too.

My first experience with pumping was with a crummy electric pump and it just didn't work. I started supplementing with formula to give my poor nipples a break, but I kept at the BF as much as I could stand and then topped up with formula.

Then someone lent me an Advent manual pump. It was so easy and pain free that I pumped (with a bit of FF) for 4 days to allow my nipples to heal, then I gradually started adding back in BF. Slowly I cut back on FF and then dropped the FF altogether and alternated bewteen BF and pumping. Eventually I was able to stop pumping as well.

It took 3 months but we are finally at the point where DS is 100% BF and I only pump if I go out and leave DH to babysit. My nipples are no longer read and sore and I am so glad I perservered. If it wasn't for a supportive husband, support from people here, ( ha ha and looking at the price of formula) I would never have made it.

If you can hang in there I promise it will get easier. If you really can't though it's not the end of the world. FF is definately better than being depressed and it's really not that big of a deal. You need to do what's best for you and baby and not worry about pressure from anyone. I was a FF baby and I think I turned out just fine. I hope it gets easier for you really soon!!