I am very much having a 'why me' time at the moment. I know there's a reason I have been given this path, but it really sucks. Most mums by now are settling in, and not having to worry about feeding dramas. I wish I could just take off with my kids for the day without having to worry about taking extra feeds, and feeling guilty if I miss expressing sessions.

I still want to aim for exclusive BFing, but in some ways I am not feeling that that is realistic. But I wonder if I think that so as not to set myself up for disappointment, if that makes sense. I never managed it with DS, but I honestly thought I would second time around. Why do we have so many issues to overcome? Breast hypoplasia, prem baby, placental issues (which affect BFing), c/s birth etc etc, it just seems unfair. But then I have to remind myself that we are very lucky to have such a gorgeous healthy baby, especially considering the issues we've had. Fortunately his weight gains have been awesome over the last few weeks, and he is now about 3.8kgs . So no FTT here, like with DS1, thank goodness. I don't think I could have coped with that again. Silver lining, right?